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aprilrudek · Nov 28, 2009, 10:47 AM

Do I allow my kids to go to dad, he moved his girlfriend and her two kids in, my kids have not dealt with the divorce yet and missing their dad. I feel this is not in their best interst to be put into this environment yet. I'm watching out for their best interst. My kids don't know her, I do nor do they want to share the only space they had since we are living with family right now until we get a home. We have been in our tempory position for 5 months. It had been difficult for them and have had to change schools. I'm a bright person and care for my boys a lot and am very worried about their emotional needs being met. I'm disgusted by my ex husbands actions, he thinks the boys will be find with these people linving at his house.

JudyKayTee · Nov 28, 2009, 11:21 AM

If you are legally divorced and there is no language in the Decree of Divorce that states that the children cannot be in the presence of a new girlfriend/boyfriend you cannot stop the visitation on the grounds that they don't know her, are recovering from the divorce and so forth.

If she is a danger to the children then you would have to go back to Court and request that the visitation be changed.

I'm sure it's a shock to find out that a new female with her children has moved into what I think you are saying is your former home but legally there is nothing you can do UNLESS the situation puts your children in danger.

Are your boys in counselling to work through their "sadness"?

ScottGem · Nov 28, 2009, 12:38 PM

You posted this in the Parenting forum so I'm not sure whether you asking from a view of what's best for your kids or what your legal rights are.

If you asking just what is best for the kids, we would need to know their ages.

If you are asking your legal rights this should be in the Family Law forum.

But whatever YOU think is best for the kids will be trumped by the law. Your divorce decree should stipulate and visitation schedule. I don't see any reason, at this point, why the father would not get visitation rights. And, in that case, you would have no choice. If the divorce is not final, and you refuse to allow reasonable visitation it could make it harder on your to maintain custody.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 28, 2009, 01:57 PM

If there is a court ordered child custody agreement you don't really have a choice, trying to keep the children from the dad is almost unspeakable. Doing so would be grounds for him to file to get custody from you

Gemini54 · Nov 28, 2009, 09:11 PM

If the kids are missing their dad then perhaps the best thing for them would be for them to go and stay with him. Yes the situation is difficult, and there will be adjustments required by everyone, but it the longer you leave it, potentially the more difficult it will be.

Their dad needs to bond with them again and I bet he's missing them as well.