[TUZIEQ]

My 35 year old dtr is a single parent of 2 girls 5 and 9. They both have different fathers.
In the past I have always been there for her but a few years ago I decided that my health was more important than her problems. After having one child with a useless crazed horror she hooks up with another nightmare and has another child. She receives no support from either or their families. I paid over one thousand dollars a few months ago when her car got towed for parking tickets. I also work 3 jobs but right now I have only one job until next year. She has been homeless and living with friends when she lost her apt that had affordable rent. Now she just asked me for most of her rent 7oo dollars. I really don't want to help her anymore and my husband who is not her father is done. I have 2 other children 18 and 21 who ask for nothing and are much more responsible she is very depressed but I can't keep giving her money and I know she works but she has never gone to court to get child support. I cannot take her into my home because I don't get along with her and her children are very difficult. I have already had breast cancer and cannot be so stressed but though my heart breaks for her she does nothing to help herself.

[Fr_Chuck]

She will never learn if you keep paying her bills. Tell her you will help her by either working a budge out for her or getting her help with a buget.

[Gemini54]

Agree with Fr Chuck 100%. It's hard, hard, hard but there is only ONE way to get her to take responsibility for herself and the choices she makes.

You must stop taking responsibility for her and wiping up after she makes mistakes.

You also have aright to be happy and healthy - you won't be happy and healthy if you keep worrying about her.

Set her free - she's a big girl now. She will have to help herself eventually or find someone else to do so.

[justcurious55]

I agree with the others. Time for tough love. You can explain to her that you just don't have the money to help her out. But if she needs, she can use your computer to look online for ways and places to help her out. Or maybe offer to drive her to the public library so she can use their computer to look.

[TUZIEQ]

Thank you for your support. This is a very difficult situation. My biggest fear is that she will be homeless and I would feel responsible to house her and the children but I know it would be a very bad situation and not healthy and she would never leave. I really can't stress the rest of my family with her situation but it is so so hard to be strong. Your answers are so supportive thank you!