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    epawls's Avatar
    epawls Posts: 103, Reputation: 16
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    #1

    Nov 23, 2009, 10:08 AM
    Divorce-what not to do
    So... looks like the differences are irreconcilable. Divorce is imminent. First and only child is on the way.

    What are the do's and dont's as far as pre-divorce strategy goes. I live in Pa. Is there anything I should steer clear of. I haven't even consulted an attorney yet, but it is coming.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #2

    Nov 23, 2009, 10:25 AM

    Well, first thing to know is that its going to take a while. I do not believe they will let you get divorced while she is pregnant.

    DO: hire a lawyer
    DONT: make it any harder than it needs to be
    DO: realize that you child is not a pawn or something to be used as a bargaining chip
    DONT: ever mistake the fact that although you are divorced, that doesn't change the fact that you are and always will be a parent
    epawls's Avatar
    epawls Posts: 103, Reputation: 16
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    #3

    Nov 23, 2009, 10:35 AM

    Yeah... I get all of that...

    I'm aware that I need an attorney. I am remaining level headed... I need advice on what to do or not to do/say, not to say to her regarding the impending divorce...

    I didn't start this thread asking for parenting advice. I am no child and I am aware of my responsibilities as a parent.

    Please... stick to the question.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #4

    Nov 23, 2009, 05:20 PM

    You can file for divorce even if the child is not born yet but the divorce cannot come to a conclusion until the child is here.

    You didn't say anything about real estate/home, etc. but those things need to be ironed out with an attorney's help.

    You need to get the child support issue taken care of in writing prior to the child's birth.

    You need to ask a specific question - not just what to do/not do please.
    epawls's Avatar
    epawls Posts: 103, Reputation: 16
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    #5

    Nov 23, 2009, 06:31 PM

    OK... there is a home that I own and have owned for years prior to even meeting her. The house is in my name. We have only been married for 2 months... I just need to take it one step at a time... im still just trying to pick up the pieces and really need to know where to start. I know... the attorney... but what steps aside from that can I take to ensure a positive outcome, if any..
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Nov 23, 2009, 06:34 PM

    You consult with an Attorney and do whatever he/her tells you - that advice will be based on the laws in your State and your particular situation.

    There is no hard and fast rule here.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
    		  
    #7

    Nov 23, 2009, 06:39 PM

    If its only been 2 months then get an annulment. There hasn't been enough time for a divorce.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Nov 23, 2009, 06:48 PM

    A attorney is the first step always.

    But then my first wife, cleaned out the bank accounts, took all of the items out of safety deposit boxes ( in the 10's of thousands of dollars in value) and sold all the funiture when I was out of town. So I guess it all depends on what "first" you want to do
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #9

    Nov 24, 2009, 06:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    A attorney is the first step always.

    But then my first wife, cleaned out the bank accounts, took all of the items out of safety deposit boxes ( in the 10's of thousands of dollars in value) and sold all the funiture when I was out of town. So I guess it all depends on what "first" you want to do

    Oh my gosh!

    I once did a background check in the middle of a divorce, attempting to see what the Plaintiff wife had been "up to" prior to the marriage. The Defendant husband got home - they lived in a rural area - and discovered the house empty... and the cows gone!

    Yes, she sold the farm's cows.

    I still find that unbelievable but he was gone for a week and during that time another dairy farmer came on by, paid for them and took them.

    Amazing because the farmers actually knew each other - but it happened.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #10

    Nov 24, 2009, 07:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Oh my gosh!

    I once did a background check in the middle of a divorce, attempting to see what the Plaintiff wife had been "up to" prior to the marriage. The Defendant husband got home - they lived in a rural area - and discovered the house empty ... and the cows gone!

    Yes, she sold the farm's cows.

    I still find that unbelievable but he was gone for a week and during that time another dairy farmer came on by, paid for them and took them.

    Amazing because the farmers actually knew each other - but it happened.
    I guess that proves that friends are friends but when it comes to cows all bets are off!
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #11

    Nov 24, 2009, 07:34 PM

    Since you say you were only married 2 months may I suggest that once the child is born that a DNA test be performed to make sure the child is yours?

    Also, since you owned the home prior to your marriage you should not have to part with it having such a short marriage.
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