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fisk · Nov 18, 2009, 11:49 AM

Hi everyone,

I'm 23, and I've been with my boyfriend (he's 25) for 5 months now and he's the first guy I've ever slept with. Unfortunately, we live in different countries, but we do manage to see each other every 2 weeks.
The first time we have sex he always comes too early, say after 2 minutes. I found this normal, because he hasn't seen me for a long time. However, this sometimes happens during the next times we do it as well. And he has told me that, he would last longer with his ex, but I just make him be so turned on that it's hard for him to retain himself(?). He says it doesn't have to do with me, it's not my fault, but I've been thinking about it lately. He does give me oral and I've never had a vaginal orgasm, but I do enjoy it when he's in me, and love it when it lasts a bit longer. I'm not saying half an hour, just 10 minutes maybe? He gets frustrated as well by this, because he says that the orgasm is better when it comes later...
He has been to the doctor a few years ago, and he doesn't have a physical problem. I'm just wondering, if there's anything I can do, or if what I'm doing might be the reason behind this?
It's a delicate subject, but we do talk about it, and I just want to make it better for both of us.

Thank you!!

Eden69 · Nov 21, 2009, 04:46 AM

I don't have an answer for this question but the good thing is that you are talking about it. There is nothing worse than when a couple has issues (im not saying that this is an issue but I couldn't think of another word to use) and they are not talking about it. What you could do is when he is approaching the "point of no return" he could stop and start giving you oral, use a sex toy on you and then when he is feeling better then he could start again.

MsEmily · Dec 2, 2009, 04:29 PM

There's a techinique called the "Stop-Start technique" that is often used for this issue. You would start to have sex with him, but as he becomes more aroused, you need to stop, back off, and allow him to become flaccid again. Then, arouse him more without allowing him to ejaculate, and back off again. Do this for many nights/days (allowing him to ejaculate eventually each time) and it should over time help him to last longer.