[shakijloiana]

Hey guys this is my first questions.. I’m glad I found this site I’m been doing lots of reading but want to ask my question to get better answers on my issue.
Me and my ex-girlfriend started dating in high school we dated for 3 years. Our relationship was awesome we had many great moments. We argue like regular people to. The whole reason of why we broke up is because I’m a dumbass, I recognize that I was the one who treat her bad, I broke up with her many times but we usually got back together within a few days because she would beg me to take her back. One bad thing that we did during our relationship was to stop talking and hanging out with our friends. We spend all of our time together, we didn’t got bored or anything like I actually like it she was my best friend and she was entertained. We broke up 2 months ago and I was the one who broke up with her we didn’t talk for a month, she started going out to clubs, drinking, she started hanging out with guys and she post pictures of her with others guys on Facebook, obviously to make me jealous, after a month she contact me and we started talking again, I told her that I was really sorry about everything and I recognize my mistakes, I told her to give me another chance and she reject me, she says that she wants to stay single because she doesn’t want to deal with the drama of our relationship she says that she wants to keep hanging out with her new friends and if we get back together we are going to fight. She says that I don’t have to worry about anything because she stills loves me and she’s not looking for anyone else , we basically behave like we are dating when we are together but when she goes out she never text me or calls me and sometimes she acts different when we are in front of her friends. I change a lot I’m a total different guy right, I’m more attentive , more caring, I call her and text her more, I’m more sweet, and she notices that and tells me why I didn’t do that during our relationship.. I trust her and believe her, is just that I still have that doubt , she doesn’t want to make it official but still wants me around, sometimes I think she’s just using me I treat her out , I still pay for her stuff, we go out almost every day to lunch and I pay for it. But we are not together. She usually calls me when she need sometime. She wants me to take her out to a trip for thanksgiving, obviously I have to pay her for everything..
I love her and I don’t mind paying, but I don’t want to get played by her. I think I love her more than I love myself. And that’s just sad.
Thanks for all the answers..

[itried]

You say that you treated her like crap and yet it was she who came back to you after you dumped her in the past. Why would you think that you are in the wrong? Especially since she comes back to you time and time again? Makes no sense for you to second guess your behaviour. Also, why should you change for her? You should be able to be yourself in a relationship instead of being another version of yourself to make some woman happy.

You're so being played by this girl. When you're together it's like nothing ever changed. But, when you're apart she's a different person. All this means is that she's using you as a back up until another guy comes along. She will use and abuse you until she finds another guy, then she'll forget all about you. Plus she's trying to get a free trip out of you in the meanwhile. She's a loser. Her coming back to you means that in her eyes, you're the best she can do FOR NOW.

My advice would be to end it with her and go on with your life.

[Emily2010]

Wow, your girlfriend sounds just like me. My boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. We also had a very great relationship, but we did fight just like everyone else. Anyway, after we broke up I started hanging out with other guys and made a lot of great friends and realized the fun I was having being single. Like you and your girlfriend, me and my boyfriend would spend all of our time together and we had no friends.

Right now, your girlfriend is probably realizing how much fun the single life is and has lost sight of how good a relationship is. My advice would be to just stop talking to her and texting her. (Me and my boyfriend have been broken up for about three months, but the one time we got back together was because of what I'm about to tell you.) Anyway, just stop texting, calling or talking to her (IF you even want her back... ) Eventually, one of the guys she hangs out with will treat her bad or hurt her, and she will appreciate you and how you have changed. Believe me, this works cause it happened to me and me and my boyfriend got back together for almost a year. If you don't want to get back together TELL HER. Don't hide it, just be honest. Only you can make the decision on whether you want her or not.

Good luck!

[shakijloiana]

OK, I also forgot to mention that we talk a lot during the day, I text her right when I wake up, she stills call me baby, she still told me that she loves me, she takes me to her family parties, and when she goes out she invites me, I usually don't go because I don't like the bars she goes to or sometimes I'm busy. Is basically we are like dating but not official and I change because I realize how an I was and I don't want to be like that anymore. I try to stop talking to her but she says is stupid to do because its going to make everything worse.

[2ndTime]

shakijloiana, follow Emily2010's advice and stop listening to your unofficial girlfriend who just wants to take advantage of you.