[blue227]

Hey,

This personal growth stuff isn't easy. It comes with uncertainty, bumps along the road. I get frustrated with myself as I Let things build up in me. I just want to express what I feel and think and be at ease with myself, peace you could say. Maybe concentrating on your weaknesses is good though its also hard as you face a lot of accepting and battle to understand things, do things differently, maybe thinking too much into it and just need a release, everybody needs something to do to release the pent up frustration everyone gets.

Do you think talking about is good, sometimes it feels like I'm on a roundabout, maybe need to get off it, lol

[tickle]

It may help if you tell us. Get it out and get some feedback. It usually helps, blue.

ms. tickle

[AtLarge]

Talking can be a very good way to put things in perspective. Now talking about personal things at work, for example, may not be the best approach. But I think this web site is wonderful for just that.

Yes, life is crazy and at times seems to be spinning out of control. Here is something that has worked for me. Find something that makes you feel grounded. Reading, or walking in the park or having a cup of coffee with a friend. Then when you are caught up in the stress of it all, remember the last time you took that walk or look forward to the next cup of coffee.

Change comes very slowly. Often one step forward and two backwards. But that is OK. Don't give up. One day you just might wake up and realize how far you have come!

[I wish]

Try reading books: Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide (scroll down to the bottom of the page for a list of categories)

Meeting new people and interacting with more people really helps with confidence.

[blue227]

Here it goes, getting it out.

After the loss of my Mum when I was young, I faded away from friends and hole myself up in the house that my Mum and I lived in. During that time I thought a lot and the two main outcomes of that thought process was to bury my emotions as they were raw and painful and keep everything in to myself. I thought that was the best way to deal with everything, I became introverted when before I was out-going. After a while I started coming out my shell and started going out, hanging around with people who I normally wouldn't socialize with, I moved on from those people and my friends from before, I began socializing with them, some of them my Mum warned me off. I think at that time my confidence was low. I met a girl who opened my heart, something positive and a new direction. We made plans and supported her through post grad study but still I was letting things build up inside and was in a job that is monotous and very un-robust, whilst she studied, when I tried to express things they all came out the wrong way and sometimes I was like I would like to do something of which I am doing, I'm at uni now. I guess I find it hard facing up to some truths, stopping things build up in me and being able to control my emotions. I think I'm coming to a stage of my life where I have a lot of opportunities and I don't want to make the same mistakes again and have not learned anything or have grown from experiences I've gained so far. I feel that I can handle different things at once though when I do I do find it streeful and taking the step back is quite hard, maybe asking for help or swallow my pride. I think I can be stuborn and can come across I know best, I don't know best though I think I come across that way to protect myself from sharing my emotions in case I get hurt and that it stems from whati instilled in myself on how to survive. Good news is I'm doing my uni work and have eventually sought out professional help for bereavement 8 yrs later though the relationship I was in ended.

[blue227]

Forgot to add I'm just up and down a lot and trying to break fre eof that is quite hard.