[Silver Lining]

Hi,
M 25 n this is ma 2nd baby. Lost my 1st born when she was 6 months old. Its exactly a year since.

Ma las pregnancy, I was with ma hubby the whole time. But this time we decided to deliver in our hometown. Ma mom rented an apt in city and stays alone and hence I came to stay with her during ma 5th month (m due Jan 1st week). Dadz in the village (Hez too violent and treats women like dirt, hence m with mom, so that dad can't bother her).

In the beginning, I felt great living with ma mom. But soon I started missing ma hubby. I get bad dreams. I feel like crying all the time. I miss him too much. To add to that, dad visits us often n he frustrates me. As soon as hez here, I get irritated. I ignore him and try to avoid him but he somehow finds ways to make me talk which leads to depression. Most of the time he speaks about ma 1st baby, or about ma bro who loves me more than anyone else. Ma dad starts blaming him and mom for no reason and we end up arguing and fighting. I donno how to avoid him.

Hubby visits often and stays for a week. That's when I feel fine, no bad dreams, no bugging dad. I enjoy ma time being around him. It's the same when bro visits. If they'r both missing, I feel very down.

Also, the weather here is like sitting on a hot plate. I feel very dizzy. I drink a lotta water, I take cool shower, I do everything possible to keep cool but its so hot here, I wake up in the night due to sweat. I get kind of suffocated in AC, so that option is out. The heat makes me feel weak. I spoke to my doc about it and she says I'v to adjust or go to where ma hubby is (very pleasant weather).

can anyone give me a good solution to this weather n also to my feelings...? How can i avoid ma dad? how can i stop missing ma hubby n the bad dreams?

Now for the BAD DOC part.

Ma baby movement reduced during ma 29th week. So I went to the hospital. NST was taken which monitors baby heartbeat and movement. The nurse who took NST was too busy drinking coffee and chatting than checking properly. Since she was not doing it properly, she couldn find the heartbeat. She called my gyne. They prepared me for Cesarean. Gave me oxygen,, when I asked, they said doc asked to be prepared... doc came about 15 minutes later,, checked ma tummy and said baby is not comfy, better do cesarean and get it out now,, she didn't check anything, there was no NST report, no scan, nothing,, I refused,, i asked for a scan,, she did the scan and said liquor is low and so baby is not moving and its heartbeat is low,,, 120, n that its risky,, gave me glucose drips, amino acid, kept under observation till 9. said, if not improved, then cesarean. She was pushing for cesarean. The heartbeat came up to 140 by 9. I was kept in hosp for 3 days..
Turns out,, 120 heartbeat is normal. No issues. Doc scared us. She wanted to do cesarean to make money because if she did operate me and deliver, we'd have to keep the baby in the incubator for at-least 1 month. She actually thought I'd agree to deliver so soon and proposed the idea... when I was adamant, she had no other go because I even argued saying the baby won't b developed and there are a lotta chances of it not making it. She knew it too. She thot I won't know. Had been to hosp again since the baby didn't move for 5-6 hrs. soon as I went, baby started moving, everything was normal. Again, she asked me to b admitted with drips. I spoke to a nurse there and she said the doc had done that to many, admitting and giving drips for no reason.in the mrng, I was asked to shift to a ward. Doc had planned to get me admitted for 3 more days. We refused to shift to ward. I also discussed with the nurse about NST n cesarean,, she too was shocked. I spoke to few other docs (from out of this place) about it. All had the same answer,, what my gyne did was wrong. I almost lost this baby.. I got so pissed,, changed ma gyne and also the hospital now.

M still not happy. i feel tensed. This place m staying in is very popular for making money the wrong way. They lie a lot about your health and make money. I'v seen it happen to many. Since I know a few docs from outside this place, I double check everything. What scares me is ma delivery. Apart from the patient, no one is allowed inside the maternity room until the patient is shifted to a ward after delivery. Imagine being alone with the contractions, not having any support, nurses shouting at you if u scream with pain or if you cry... therez no hospital for about 600 miles from here where your hubby or parent can be with you in the maternity room.

I donno what to do. I can't leave ma mom alone. She has planned to with me after delivery and stay with us forever. But now, she can't quit her work she says. M trying to find a solution to escape ma BAD MOOD, ma DAD, the HOSPITALS here and also the WEATHER.

[Wondergirl]

120 beats per minute is low.

[Silver Lining]

I was said 120-160 is normal,, up to 175 its k,, below 100 is very bad,, 120 is absolutely normal,, checked with more than 3 docs from different places...