[benviromental]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months. You know how when you are new to a relationship and you want to have sex pretty frequently (as in several times a day) well I would be lucky if I got it 3 times a week. And even then it would be a miracle if he lasted more than 10 min. sometimes he would other times he just would say its not going to happen. And its not as if I just lay there. I do moan and I am totally up for different positions, and we will try them but he just doesn't seem into it. Well within 2-3 months of us being together then the sex tapered off to maybe 2 times a month. Also let me add I am the one who ALWAYS is asking for the sex. He says no. he's just not in the mood. I tried spicing things up.. and he says he's not into it. He told me he just prefers vanilla sex. Well since the 6 month mark in our relationship he will maybe have sex with me 1 time a month and once again its me begging for it. Also I went down on him for over 30 min and he didn't . He wasn't even close. He says no one has ever been able to do it. Which 1. I don't want to hear and 2. still makes me feel bad like I'm not good enough... plus I know he masturbates a couple of times a week. So I know he still can get it up.

He says its just a side effect of the medication he is taking. And I know he isn't cheating on me so him getting it other places is out of the scenario.

I really do love him. And I've expressed to him several times I need it more often. If I could I would love to have sex at least 1-2 times a day. But I realize if I'm going to be with him its an unrealistic hope. But he won't even meet me half way with this.

He gets upset with me and says that he just wants to cuddle with me, and why isn't that touching enough. Why does it have to lead to physical things.

Have any of you had this problem and if so what steps did you take to remedy the problem? I just feel stuck.

[Synnen]

1. It very well COULD be a side effect of his medication.
2. It's very PROBABLY a side effect of you pushing it.

I suggest counseling for the two of you, so that you can at least get on the same page about expectations.

[shazamataz]

Wow, I would LOVE to get it 3 times a week.
People get tired, people take medications, people have lives, some weeks sex is the last thing on my mind.

If he only likes vanilla sex then that's what he likes, you can try and sit down and talk with him and compromise on what you do in the bedroom but in the end if he does not want to do anything more than the basics and you can't handle that then it's time to move on.
It's nobody's fault, you just aren't compatible in the bedroom.

[sergie]

Hello benvironmental!
Well, You haven't mention your ages here and the kind of sickness he has that he has to take medicines. If you are so sure that he is spanking, then I guess he is really not into you. He prefers vanilla sx, if you are helping in this, are you getting any from him, of your choice? Well,if he is not really giving you at least some, then it time to move on, leave him. There are others who can bring more excitement in your life. But then again, its all your decision.