[Marshmallow]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years, have lived together for the last 6 months. We are both women and in our late 30's. Previously my girlfriend was married for 12 years and had one child with her ex husband. Problem is her family even though I know them all and they accept me and spend time with us, whenever there is a wedding or baptisim or large family function they send the invitation to my GF and her EX husband. It seems to me they are waiting for her and I to end so that things can go back to the way they had been previously to me. This past summer her ex and her received an invitation to HER cousins wedding. Her cousins and Aunts and entire family know they are not together anymore but still invited them as a couple. She insisted that I was going with her even though I felt perhaps that invite was a strong hint I wasn't welcome. So I went with her and her Mom told her that her Ex husband should have been there with her! Her Mom is a very nice women who has spent lots of time with us and I love her to pieces but then my girlfriend gets that comment. So here we are again my girlfriend brother's 40th birthday party and she gets and invite addressed to her and her ex. I should be use to this by now but its getting annoying. My girlfriend has made it very clear we are a couple and the fact that we are now living together and have been together 2 years may tell her family something! I need to make a very clear yet eloquent statement to her family that I don't appreciate the lack of tact in there behaviours and that my girlfriend and I are in a serious relationship and we plan on staying that way! Her ex has attended these family functions at times and its like they feel so sorry for him and make a huge production over him being there while my girlfriend and I are together there. It is ridiculous and I feel like I should not be there at those times. Can someone please help me with how to express this without coming across as the bad guy or in this case gal. Her ex is a nice guy and is dating someone serious and I wonder if she feels this is weird too. He on the other hand likes to play into the poor me Im divorced from your daughter/ sister act etc etc.. I am not sure what he gets out of it but obviously he gloats in the fact that he is included on the invites and I am not! Thank you

[Gemini54]

I don't think it's up to you to say anything. It's your GF's responsibility, because it's her family. I have to say, it is rather weird. I wonder if they would do this if she was with another man?

I suspect that some people might see a lesbian relationship as not quite real, or just something that happens while you're waiting for a man to come along. Your GF's family is probably in this boat and view her relationship with you as a strange moment of madness.

Your GF has to be really firm say to her family - "marshmallow is my partner now and I would like you to invite her and I to any functions. I don't mind if you invite my ex, that's your prerogative, but marshmallow and I are together and I would appreciate it if you invited her and I as couple. Ex and I are no longer together and I don't want to be included on an invitation with him". Perhaps your GF can also tell her family that she won't attend functions unless the invites are extended to you as well.

I feel for you, it's horrible feeling like the third wheel.

[araina]

They that's bad! please tell your girlfriend how you feel.if she loves you she ll stand up for u.
If I was in her place and my relatives kept repeating the mistake of inviting me and my ex I would have boycotted all the functions and told my ex to stay out of my family business.he can just be involved with the baby not her whole family and functions...
Tell your girlfriend about it and ask her to be firm if her relatives refuse cut down on the family get togethers.they ll understand and start inviting you instead of him