[wickedman]

Hello all,
I will try to make it as brief as I can possibly make it.

There is this gorgeous girl in my class. I swear she comes from heaven. A couple of weeks ago, perhaps 4-5 weeks ago, a friend introduced us to each other, and we started talking. Little talk.
After our class, I waited for her, and walked her to her car. She loved it, and asked me to do it again. The day after that, I met her at the library, where we spent over 2 hours chatting, and getting to know each other better. I then walked her to class. While she was in class, I wrote a note saying "You looked beautiful today", and put it on her car handle. She commented on my FB page, saying that what a "charmer".

A week later or so, I walk her to her car, and she holds my arm. I then leave her at her car, and tells me "can I have a kiss?" and I kissed her. The next day we were sitting in the library, caressing each other, giving little kisses, and so forth.
The next day, I buy her flowers, and give them to her on campus, which she almost cried about (in a good way). She LOVED it!

I've visited her a couple of times at her work, with flowers, and she quite loved it as well.

We haven't hung out during weekends, because she's always "busy".

She's told me perhaps the 2nd week or so that "she doesn't do the whole bf-gf thing, but there is always an exception to the rule". However that she really liked me.

This last week, everything has been going downhill. She won't text me at all, or call me.
Monday everything seemed pretty normal.
Tuesday while being on the computer she hold my hand, hands on my lap, little kisses etc.
Wednesday seemed normal as well.
Thursday she told me at the library she needed to read. So I walked her to an "individual" table for her to read, and during that time I just sat at the library waiting for her to finish. However after an hour or so, I see if she is done, and yes she is, however I get no text or call from her. So walking out of the library I "glimpse" a look at her in front of a computer. I "did not see her" and kept on walking. I was feeling a little bit bad about her just "ditching" me. She had a night class. I then had an "ingenious" plan to drop off a rose on her windshield while she was in class, and see her reaction to it. I see her get out of the class, and walk to her car. She gets in the car, starts the car. She then sees there is something on the windshield, gets out of the car, gets the rose, and calls her friend over, who is running. They talk for a good 10 minutes before they leave.

I then was expecting a call or a text thanking me for the flower... (which would be the right thing to do)
I kept waiting...
And waiting...

Its been two day, and nothing yet. No FB comment, no call, no text. Nothing.
Her FB status was "awesome sleepover with friend! Work until close:("

I really don't know what to do, say, or think...

[Gemini54]

Back off - you're too intense. She's already told you that she's not keen on the GF/BF thing. Listen to what she's telling you.

Women don't like puppies that lap around their heels - women like guys that are independent and who don't completely wear their hearts on their sleeves.

You're setting yourself up to be either used or hurt because you're looking for every crumb or morsel of attention from her. You're overwhelming her and she's withdrawing.

Let it rest for few days and get out with your other friends. Smile if you see her and ask her how she's going - don't do the kissy kissy thing or the flower thing. Be cool.

Try not to worry, but you may have overdone it.

[close friend]

Here is a little secret that I think everybody is aware off. Girls don't pay attention and don't like much to the guys who pay too much attention to them, and when the same shows atttitude and don't go much around her then she seeks him and start liking.

[jaime90]

What's the rush? You guys are kissing and cuddling when you barely know each other.

This girl says you are a charmer. In my mind, a charmer is someone who gives women the feeling of being loved, but the feelings aren't serious.

Generally speaking girls are into flowers and love notes, but that's a little cliché. You should get to know her better and do something a little more personal. Flowers and love notes, and awesome, but way overdone. Plus, she says she doesn't want a boyfriend so take a chill pill and wait for her to call. If she doesn't, you've probably scared her away and can take this advice for next time: don't jump into the relationship, and don't try to charm the girl into liking you- you'll come off desperate, and scare the poor girl away.

[summer7]

Hi,
You are definitely a charmer, romantic and you've got the moves... big time. All great qualities! Lots of guys could use some lessons from you in this department. However, I think most people like to be enticed... (Give the girl a little taste, then hide the pie.) :)

Recently I was whining that I was not feeling the "pow" in my relationship with my guy. We have a great relationship and amazing friendship but I wasn't feeling the sparks and excitement anymore. I told my boyfriend this. Tactfully of course. So what did he do? He started making himself less available. I didn't ask him to do this... but we were always together and his love gestures became so predictable and I took them for granted. My bad! :(

I'm happy to announce that we just needed a break. I have those feelings for him again. I know guys are like this too. If a girl is too available and easy, they lose interest.

Again, you have wonderful qualities. The single rose is a beautiful gesture but if they get one everyday... it loses it's effect.

Play it cool for awhile. If you see her, just say hi and keep walking. If she talks with you, don't whip out the rose from your backpack and plant that juicy smooch on her. Just be cool... "Hey good seeing you....I really have to go study now."

This will be a little frustrating for a passionate, romantic like you... Don't view it as a game but rather as the "art of seduction". ;)

[wickedman]

Thanks all for the help(: really appreciate it!

So I did what you guys told me to: Back off.

During my math class, how Summer7 said, "play it cool" which I did, paid attention in class, was minding my own business. I noticed her at several times looking at me, trying to touch me, smiling at me, however I kept "playing it cool". Instead of walking her to her car, I told her I needed tto go to the other direction to fetch some paper. I saw a glimpse of disapointment. She hugged me, and left.
That is all I saw or heard from her since today (Friday).

She hasn't texted, called, or FBed me...

Should I do something, or just "keep playing it cool"?

[summer7]

Hi,
That's great news. You now have the opportunity for a fresh start. Next time you see her, be friendly and nice but don't jump in full force. Take it easy... give it time. Get to know her and become friends. Go out and have some fun.

Be cooooooooool. Guys think that girls like jerks. Not so. Girls like guys that hold back a little. A little mystery is exciting. I'm happy for you! :)

[wickedman]

Thank you Summer7(:

Basically what you're saying is "start from 0 with her"?

(:

[I wish]

You don't need to "start from 0", but slow things down. She said that she doesn't do the whole bf/gf thing. Keep getting to know each other for now because you haven't spent that much time together.

I would caution that if she isn't looking for the same things as you, i.e. a bf/gf relationship, then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. For this reason, I would hold off on the physical stuff too. Just focus on talking.

Only when you actually become boyfriend and girlfriend, then go back to the physical stuff. Otherwise, you just look like friends with benefits and that doesn't seem like what you're looking for.

[wickedman]

Thank you "I Wish",
Mhmm... very true, however, why does she "enjoy" me walking her to the car? Why does she kiss me? Why does she hold my hand? Why would she caress me? Hug me? If she isn't looking for anything?

It's been a week without nothing from her. I see her Monday in my class, should I attempt something? Or keep playing it "cool"?

Thank you(:

[summer7]

You're pretty frustrated, huh? I understand. It just doesn't make sense. All this show of affection from her and then she kind of cools off. You have all the advice you need. Everyone has given you great tips to follow. You have the answers already. Re-read all the posts. Let it all sink in.

I'm sure she likes you... You are just moving too fast. When you see her Monday, be nice, walk her to her car but keep in mind what happened the last time when you pushed too hard. Remember, you are starting fresh... not from 0 but you've learned a lot.

Good luck!

[Jake2008]

I can see why you are confused. This girl has had plenty of time to back up her words of 'not interested in a boyfriend/girlfriend thing', and said something rather than accepting gifts, and doing the touchy feely thing when she feels like it.

She likes you one minute, and dumps you the next. You are getting mixed messages from her. I get the feeling she gives just enough to keep you swooning over her, and she enjoys the attention, without regard to your feelings.

This is probably how she operates with her boyfriend as well.

All other things aside, she is not a very nice person in my opinion. While it may not be right for you to act as you have, knowing she already has a boyfriend, it is also not right that she encouraged you to do so.

Not all players are men.

[wickedman]

Summer7, thank you again(:

Jake2008, " I get the feeling she gives just enough to keep you swooning over her, and she enjoys the attention, without regard to your feelings" you do have a very valid point... I wouldn't have though about that... wow, thanks for "opening my eyes"(:

However you say "knowing she already has a boyfriend" I am 100% positive that she is single... so I don't quite follow you on that... (perhaps you were trying to say something else.. ) However I know for sure that she is single, and I respect if a woman is already in a relationship, I wouldn't have done all of that.

[Jake2008]

I'm not sure where I got the idea she had boyfriend, or recently split from a boyfriend.

Maybe I was thinking at the time, that because her weekends were always busy, there was someone else in the picture.

Sorry about that.