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Dougan123 · Nov 2, 2009, 12:16 PM

Hello.
I am in a bit of a pickle. My Dad has recently come back into my life after leaving for about 8 years. Since I have started seeing him, he has got married again to a woman with two kids (13 and 17.) He has seen that the younger boy wears plain t-shirts, where as I love big bright designes and logos. He has got me into wearing a few and they do look nice on me. But my mum dosen't think so. It is a bit annoying because my mum and my dad each want me to be doing different things, e.g... my mum thinks my hair looks nice short, where my dad says it looks nice long!:mad:! And my dad says I need to get out with my friends more, (which I do try and do) and my mum says "you go out when you want"!:rolleyes:! It is only going to get worse as I get older.
Any hints or tips? Thanks.

justcurious55 · Nov 2, 2009, 12:35 PM

Well, what do YOU like? You should like what you wear. You should wear your hair how YOU like it. And yes, going out with friends is good and all, but there's nothing wrong with you wanting to stay in sometimes too. It's great that your parents care for you. But when it comes to little things like what you've listed, sometimes the best response is something along the lines of "i really appreciate your advice, but I like..." and follow it up with a big hug so they know its nothing personal against them. And yes, it probably will get worse as you get older. I'll bet one parent will tell you you just have to go to this college while the other just knows that this other one is best for you. They both love you, and both want what's best for you.

Dougan123 · Nov 3, 2009, 12:15 AM

Thanks for your response justcurious55, it was right. I should do and wear what I want and I should talk to them in that way. Thanks again. :)

justcurious55 · Nov 3, 2009, 08:41 AM

Yeah. Just make sure you're careful when you tell them. Anyone can be sensitive to having their opinion rejected, especially parents when the person they likely still see as their little kid are the ones doing the rejecting.

Dougan123 · Nov 3, 2009, 09:29 AM

Yes, you are right. I mean, the main worry I have is telling them no and my dad just walks away for another 8 years. :(

justcurious55 · Nov 3, 2009, 10:50 AM

You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells. That's not healthy. It's not healthy to be around someone that will turn away from you over such a minor disagreement.

Gemini54 · Nov 6, 2009, 07:17 PM

Why don't you tell both of them that you appreciate their suggestions and their care for how you look, but that you're developing your own style and want to experiment with some different looks.

You don't need to tell either of them no. Let them know you want to start making your own decisions about clothes, hair, friends - but that you'll be sure to ask their advice if you need it.

Tell them to chill - sounds as if they are having a few issues adjusting to being round each other again.