[scotchtape]

I apologize for yet another one of these, and it may seem somewhat repetitive to my last, but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this.

Does anyone know the progression of long distance relationships well, and what is normal for them? I mean, my boyfriend used to call me all the time (like 4 times a day), but now he usually only calls once. I know 4 times in one day may seem like a lot, but I liked it. It made me smile to know that he was thinking about me. He also used to send me little text messages with a <3 or something, just to show he cared. Those have also all but stopped. So, we talk on the phone, but we don't really say much. A couple funny stories about things that happened in our day, maybe some plans for meeting, and some humming. He's mentioned that he "doesn't have anything to say." It's like we've out-talked ourselves. Also, just for reference, we said I love you to each other pretty early on (like 2 months in - it's now been about 4 months), and we don't do that nearly as much anymore. Is it possible that we subconciously realized that things were moving too quickly and that we needed to slow down, or what? I don't know.

I really do care about him and when we're together, we have no trouble talking and have a wonderful time. I feel like he cares about me so much more when we're together than he does when we're apart. I suppose this is just one of the hardships of long-distance relationships.

[Ace High]

Scotch,

If the relationship is going to remain long distance for some time, it may be time to move on. Your message didn't say why you had a long distance relationship, but they are hard to keep going via email, phone or whatever. People need to have physical contact at least every once in a while. -- Ace

[scotchtape]

Thanks for the reply, Ace. Let me clear up some of the things that were foggy to you.

We have a long distance relationship because we live in different states, are both students, and neither of us has the money to move at this point in time, though it has been discussed. We do see each other, about once every month or two. It just seems so long in between those times, though.

[Ace High]

Scotch,

How much longer is the long distance suppose to last?? Are you both seniors or just starting?? Only you both can decide whether this relationship last. Do you feel that "he" is the only one for you? And the same for him?? If so, then the time will be of no consequence. But being alone can be very hard on a relationship. Emotions run very high at your age. And time seems to drag on forever. But long distance relationships can work if both parties are committed. --- Ace

[Fr_Chuck]

Many people just don't like to or want to talk on the phone for long times.

If I talk 3 to 5 minutes on a phone that is quality talk for me.

I could email and chat on line for a longer period.

But long distance relationships have to look also, if he lived around the block would he still call 4 times a day, or even call everyday, most likely not

[scotchtape]

Thanks for the replies, both of you.

I don't know how much longer this long distance will last. Depending on how quickly I can get my degree, it will be another year and a half to two years. It seems like an awfully long time, I know, but hopefully we'll be able to spend the summer together. When I'm with him, I feel like we were meant to be togther, but when we're apart, I have my doubts. Does that make sense? Is it normal to doubt things in a long distance relationship?

[Krs]

I was in a long distance relationship for 1 solid year. Im now married to the guy and been together a total for 7 years.

Its very important to ask your boyfriend the questions you are asking us. You need to both know where you stand and its also very healthy to made a deal together by saying you will be openly honest about your feelings towards each other because its not fair for one person to think the other is still in love, if you get my point. Its not worth wastinge eachothers time esp it being a long distance relationship.

Having doubts is absolutley normal, but that's why as I said above be honest with each other, tell each everything.

Good luck.