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quiteunsure · Oct 27, 2009, 06:44 PM

Was dating this girl for the last 5-6 weeks, went out 1-2 times per week. Things I thought were going OK.. Starting to see each other more often, no sex yet, but had slept over and usual make out progressions. Saw her yesterday and had great time out, felt like we were getting closer. Today she she's she wants to do something later, and then out of blue she says that she just wants to be friends? All of this was over the phone today. Funny thing is I'm going away tomorrow and she's going to vegas for the weekend with her girlfriends. I wonder if this has something to do with it (although both of us will be back next week) Im 29, she's 33. I'm OK with it all, but just seems so out of blue? Any thoughts..

sammyjoe · Oct 27, 2009, 07:07 PM

Well I hate to say you're the problem. She has given you chance after chance to make the sex move but your either scared or gay. Be a man she wants some and you're a freakin gentalman for 5 weeks. And your not getting it she's a woman who needs a man not a guy friend who won't at least get the "no stop-it" or "i thought you didnt think i was good enough" or "yes" or "yeeeeeeeeees" but you make the move not her dude.

quiteunsure · Oct 27, 2009, 07:35 PM

That's fair.
Actually I'm far from gentleman.. have gotten the hand pull awayseveral times, and have pressed the issue at all times..

Fr_Chuck · Oct 27, 2009, 07:52 PM

She has used the 5 to 6 weeks to get to know you and date. This is what people who date are suppose to do.

When you discussed having sex what was her opinion, not bushing your hand away, but when you talked about where in the relationship you both saw it happening was was the answer.

And perhaps she did not like being "pressed".

But most likely she has decided like one is suppose to, that at this point it is not the match she is looking for.

talaniman · Oct 27, 2009, 09:18 PM

Your both free for your holiday, so enjoy it, because after dating, friends means it ain't happening.

jordyadele · Oct 27, 2009, 11:14 PM

Sex is not everything in a relationship. If she just wants to be friends because you wouldn't give her sex, that seems really shallow and if that's the case I don't think that you should even be dating her. Your relationship is still young and rushing into the physical will just add more drama. Focus on getting to know her and keeping things casual.
Ask her! Ask her the reason. Ask her if she broke it off because of the las vegas trip. Ask her why it was just out of the blue. Ask her if she is confused. She's the only one that can answer them questions. So ask her!

kctiger · Oct 28, 2009, 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Your both free for your holiday, so enjoy it, because after dating, friends means it ain't happening.

Pretty much sums it up right here. That is the point of dating. Most times it doesn't work out, and in this case, it didn't work out. Sorry man, but at least you know now and are free to enjoy yourself!

I don't really think you need to ask her if she broke it off so she could enjoy Vegas. Why would she have started dating you in the first place? She knew she was going to Vegas. Also, to the first response on here, if she wanted sex that bad she would have made a move. Believe me the guy is not required to make the first move towards sex, girls do it just as much.

I wish · Oct 28, 2009, 05:53 AM

Sounds like she gave you 5-6 chances to try to work out a possible relationship, but she realize that she wants something else. It happens.

She picked a pretty good time to end things seeing that you're both going on a trip, so you can enjoy your respective trips as single people and not committed. So go have fun!

quiteunsure · Nov 14, 2009, 11:29 AM

Update and opinions sought..
So this girl continues to text me late at night.. once because she was out being harassed.. We'vw also talked on phone a few times.. each time for about an hour! I haven't brought up our previous "friend conversation" because don't really see point. Don't mind the contact but not sure what this girls getting at. She has had issues with stalkers in past and alwasys says she doesn't want to let friends get too close.. I think its weird that when she was in bind she's get a hold of me and not other friends she's had for years? Any opinions.. or is it normal to date then all of sudden want to be friends.. then act like really good friends after only couple months?

artlady · Nov 14, 2009, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by quiteunsure

Update and opinions sought..
So this girl continues to text me late at night.. once because she was out being harrassed..? We'vw also talked on phone a few times.. each time for about an hour! I havnt brought up our previous "friend conversation" because dont really see point. Don't mind the contact but not sure what this girls gettin at. She has had issues with stalkers in past and alwasys says she doesnt want to let friends get too close.. i think its weird that when she was in bind she's get a hold of me and not other friends shes had for years?? Any opinions.. or is it normal to date then all of sudden wanna be friends.. then act like really good friends after only couple months?

Are you sure your not just a drunk dialing ,late at night ,someone to talk to after the bars have closed friend?
Just throwing that out there!

quiteunsure · Nov 19, 2009, 10:53 AM

So this past weekend had late night text conversation with this girl, both of us out and clearly drinking. She tells me she had had issue trusting people and believing in them. She also tells me she doesn't know if she wants to be with someone with "status" (I have job position of "power" in relation to what she does, we don't work in same place though). Or she says she doesn't think I'd want to be with her because of this. Of course I told her that wanted to be with her regardless, etc. Next day she wants to get a drink. We go out and have good time.. I treat it as casual "friendly" date.. its been few weeks since seen her. End of night I go to part ways and she wants hug.. later that night she texts me more saying it was bice to see me, etc. I like this girl but don't know where to go from here. Should I give her space and just wait and see if she wants to get together? Should I try to gain trust.. keep regular contact.. seem like I'm interested in her (although she knows this already)?

artlady · Nov 19, 2009, 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by quiteunsure

So this past weekend had late night text convo with this girl, both of us out and clearly drinkin. She tells me she had had issue trusting ppl and believing in them. She also tells me she doesnt know if she wants to be with someone with "status" (I have job position of "power" in relation to what she does, we dont work in same place though). Or she says she doesnt think I'd want to be with her because of this. Of course I told her that wanted to be with her regardless, etc. Next day she wants to get a drink. We go out n have good time.. I treat it as casual "friendly" date.. its been few weeks since seen her. End of night i go to part ways and she wants hug.. later that night she texts me more saying it was bice to see me, etc. I like this girl but dont know where to go from here. Should i give her space and just wait n see if she wants to get together? Should I try to gain trust.. keep regular contact.. seem like im interested in her (although she knows this already)?

I think you have made your feelings clear and now the ball is in her court.

I think she is playing some sort of game but I can't put my finger on her motivation.
Clearly,she is getting something from you that she wants but it doesn't appear to be what you want.

Sounds like a lot of drama and mixed messages and I think a relationship with her would only be more of the same.

There are other women out there,you do know that right? :)

I wish · Nov 19, 2009, 11:10 AM

She already KNOWS how you feel about her. If she felt the same way about you, she would let you know, as opposed to leading you on.

If you want to keep participating in her mind games, you'll continue to have false hope and over-analyze all the details.

You're not her boyfriend. Go do your own thing and meet new people.

talaniman · Nov 19, 2009, 11:21 AM

Why are you spending so much time trying to get something from someone who isn't ready, or doesn't want what you want?

You are way to available, and sniffing too close. Just me, I would have other things going for me, so she wouldn't be able to confuse me, or distract me from doing my own thing. If you were busy, and focused on other things, you wouldn't be trying to figure out her motives, or actions.

By letting her have your attention when she wants it, she doesn't have to have anything else, nor will she allow you closer.

Talaniman Rule- You never pursue romance with "just a friend". Nor be available for endless confusion.

Talaniman Rule- When in doubt, let them pursue you!!

Devorameira · Nov 19, 2009, 12:07 PM

If you really want her back, my suggestion is to back off and quit having the conversations. She may want out or may be a little confused, but give her some space.