[stillnlove1025]

I am almost 6 months pregnant. My husband and I have been married for a year and been together for 4 years. We had a picture perfect relationship. We have both loved each other very deeply and always talked about being together forever and working out any problems that may arise. Recently my husband and I began having problems. One evening he sat me down and said he thought that he wanted a divorse. He left me, but didn't move out completely. Just took a few of his things. A lot of nights he would come home and see more for a couple of hours and some nights he wouldn't come home at all. He was gone for a about a month. We had a discussion one evening while he was visiting and he told me that he was still confused but that he had made his mind up that he wanted a divorse but now wasn't sure that is what he wanted. He said that I was his best friend and he was scared of losing me. He said he wasn't ready to come back yet though. He did finally come home and brought back all his stuff. He has been home for a about a month now and things are getting better, but last night I asked him about his feelings for me. And he said he wasn't sure that I was the same person he fell in love with. I am trying to be more like I used to be before I let negativitey and unreachable expectations come into my life. I still love my husband with all my heart. My question is how do I get that love we once had not so long ago back?

[JudyKayTee]

You can't get the love back by yourself - he also has to want to work on the relationship.

He's treating you like a doormat.

I understand feelings change, pregnancy changes things, whatever else is going on but I think you need to talk to someone, a professional. If he'll go, fine. If not, go by yourself.

And you have to make some legal decisions - you have a child to be supported.

[Cat1864]

We had a picture perfect relationship. We have both loved each other very deeply and always talked about being together forever and working out any problems that may arise.

...I am trying to be more like I used to be before I let negativitey and unreachable expectations come into my life.

I am hesitant to advise anything until there is a bit more information.

When did you 'let negativitey and unreachable expectations' come into your life? That thought doesn't go with the 'picture perfect relationship' up until he 'left'.

How open is your communication right now? How does he feel you have changed aside from being pregnant? Is this your first child? How does he feel about becoming a father? Were there any warning signs before he sat you down and said he was leaving?

Please keep in mind that hormones and all the other changes that pregnancy brings are going to be clouding your emotions and keeping you on a mental and emotional roller coaster. It is important for both of you to be aware that you are not yourself right now when you try to have discussions where emotions are involved. If you are prepared, it can help you stay calm and avert a possible argument or upset feelings.

[Jake2008]

What was his reason for leaving?

[Gemini54]

I have questions too, but the first thing I would say is go and see a marriage counselor.

You both have a child on the way to whom you are responsible. Yes, this responsibility can be scary, but you also have a responsibility to work through your fears, concerns, difficulties - whatever they may be.

Don't hesitate or wait for things to get better. If you get to the core of your issues now, it may well make your relationship stronger and better and you will in the future be able to work things out when they get difficult.

Do it for the sake of your unborn baby - go to counselling together.