[stuffluff]

Hi, this is my first time, so bare with me! My husband and I have been together for 10yrs. I have three children, he has two. His ex committed suicide when the boys were 9 & 11. Now they are 20 and 18. The 20 yr old lives on his own, but we've had nothing but problems with him. The 18 yr old lives with us. The thing is he doesn't do anything.He just did start college and goes mon-thu 7:30-11:30. He then comes home and goes to his room and sleeps or is on the lap top. On the weekends he leaves Friday afternoon and returns Sunday night at 10pm.He has done this since he was 15 or 16. My husband has never questioned him about were he is or what he is doing. And no, he is not doing drugs. The only chore he has ever had is taking the garbage out when needed and taking it to the street twice a week, but after 10 yrs he still has to be asked. He has to be asked to do everything, he never does anything on his own. We have started a Thursday night Family Dinner where all the children need to be home and after dinner we watch a movie. Chris always starts an argument at the table and my husband always sticks up for him and talks down to me in front of everybody. Chris is anti social and I believe wants to start something all the time, but it is draining me. Any help is appreciated!

[Metalhead11592]

I myself am a Teen-aged boy the thing you need to use is reverse physcology! Whenever my parents want me to do something I hate they trick me into doing it somehow they are clever and catch me off guard many times. For Chris if he doesn't want to be apart of the family make him feel like he wants to be loved, stop communicating with him and everything don't even call him. Make him reach out to you, he'll wonder what's going on that you aren't trying to contact him if you normally try to talk to him.

As for your husband what are they ganging up on you about? Is it something that you really need to fight about, you need to pick your battles. Talk to him about it, tell him how you feel like that you felt not only felt like you were violated emotionally because you were being ganged up on, but also that you felt your relationship was violated because your going to be spending the rest of your life with him not your son.