[emopunk7]

Well my parents have been together and married for 25 years. She is constantly stressed because although she loves my father, she is not in love and has tried for many years to fall in love. She says now that my brother and I are grown up she doesn't know what to do. She says we kept her busy and happy but now she sees that she will be alone with my dad soon and she is not happy. I feel bad for her a lot but also for my dad who loves her tremendously and raised us perfectly. I love both so much. I feel for both but what should my mom do? In Christianity, divorce is frowned upon. I try helping her but I don't really know what to tell her. They are both 44. I'm 24 and my brother is 22. By the way my mom cheated on my dad about 10 years ago as well but my dad still accepted her. Any advice as to what they should do, or at least what should my mom do? We all live together.

[Alty]

This is a tough one.

No one can decide this but your mom and dad.

I realize you want to help, but this isn't something you should be concerned about. This is their relationship and they either have to fix it or walk away. You shouldn't be caught in the middle.

You have your own life to live. They have to learn to live theirs. :)

[friend4u178]

Had to spread the love but I agree with Altenweg Emo , it's really something that your Mom and Dad need to sort out for themselves , why don't you get your Mom to sign up then we can get her side of the story.

[I wish]

She's right, now that you've grown up, she doesn't have to act in the best interest of her children anymore. She needs to act in her own best interest. There's nothing you can do on your own, because it's ultimately her choice. She needs to decide what's more important to her: "Her happiness or her devotion to Christianity?"

In terms of a relationship, she shouldn't force herself to be in a loveless marriage.

In terms of the religion, she will need to do everything she can to stay committed to the marriage. It's definitely not going to be easy. If she's been trying for year, but nothing works, then we'll need some outside of the box thinking and your dad will need to play a part in helping her out.

Whatever happens, I hope things work out for the best.

[kctiger]

I have and will always continue to be of the mindset that we get one life to live. No one is perfect and sometimes things just flat out do not work. This is life, but it is OUR life. It is your parent's choice but I could tell you that I refuse to live a life and merely settle because of my religion or relationship pressures.

Time is the most valuable commodity in the world. It is the one thing universally wanted and equally respected. We get no refund at the end of the road, so you make the choices for yourself that ultimately guide you to a happier life. If you both were younger I would say, for sake of the children, to rethink leaving... but now your mother deserves to be happy, and if that means a divorce, then so be it.

While I think it is important to be a good husband, I think it is much more important to be a better father. If I don't make it into heaven because my marriage failed, then I guess that's life. But I would be more worried about being a great parent, and both your mother and father have done that.