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    lilme31's Avatar
    lilme31 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 17, 2009, 02:43 PM
    Bored with lack of sex life in relationship
    Wonder does anyone have an idea of what I mean?
    I'm with my boyfriend for 2 years now and I feel quite bored with our sex life.
    I estimate we only have sex about once every 3 weeks and this has been going on for a long while.
    We do get up to other stuff in bed which can be quite fun but as I say we rarely have proper sex. I feel I have quite a high sex drive and had much more sex with ex-boyfriends.
    Also when we do have sex ts usually in the same way and we don't exactly try out many new ways. This leaves me feeling a real lack of intimacy which I would love to feel with him.
    In other ways our relationship is good we get on very well and we laugh a lot together. I find him attractive, he has an attractive body but I know a relationship can't go on like this.
    He doesn't seem to want to talk about sex which I think would help it would connect us anf help us to move on. There seems to be a slight embarrassment there which is strange to me after 2 years together.
    Is there any hope for us I wonder?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #2

    Oct 17, 2009, 02:49 PM

    Is this a recent thing, over the last 3 months or so?

    If so,has something happened in his life,a stressfull situation? A death? A job change?

    If he feels his performance is not up to scratch for some reason he cannot explain,he won't be able to explain it to you,hence his embarressment.

    I'm of the mind,that if you can't talk about it,you should not be doing it!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
    		  
    #3

    Oct 17, 2009, 03:36 PM
    How old are both of you?

    How do you try to discuss sex with him? Are you calm or upset? Could he be feeling like you are comparing him to past relationships? Do you listen to him when he says what he says how he feels?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Oct 17, 2009, 05:37 PM

    And "proper sex" but we do "other things" and the issue of always doing new things, there is a limit of new things esp after a couple years.

    I guess the issues do you tell him what sexual satisfaction. Most ladies can be very well pleased without "proper sex"
    letmetellu's Avatar
    letmetellu Posts: 3,151, Reputation: 317
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    #5

    Oct 17, 2009, 06:19 PM

    Tell him that you are not pleased with the sex life that you have. Or you make the moves to make the sex more frequent.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #6

    Oct 19, 2009, 08:30 AM
    I see a couple with not nearly enough in common to be wasting time with each other.

    Its only going to get worse with time. Best advice I can offer is cut your losses now and date some new people until you find a better match than this one. Lifes too short to be wasting it with the wrong people.

    Some people are fine as friends but do have what it takes to be more... such as in this case.
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