[Marissa0119]

Okay so I have been dating this guy for the past 3months and were still in high school and his mom just past away on October 15, 2009. &&i was at the hospital with him and everything. He cried in my arms and I didn't know what to do. This has never happened to me before. &&i knew his mom but we really didn't started tlking or hanging until about one month ago and his mom always said hatred stuff to him but he still loved her so much. &Now he is running the streets doing what he pleases and snaps at me for every little thing. I don't know how to make him feel better andi know he is out parting. & I havnet tlked to him since his mom past.So I don't know how he is doing, I just want him getting into the wrong stuff. &i don't want to say the wrong thing about anything right now cause he will flipp. His friends call me and tell me how he is doing but they all say the same thing... he cried partied and cried... &&he told me the last time I tlked to him "it doesnt even feel like she's gone, it feels like im gunna go home and she is guna be there yelling at me, Did you do your homework," & he has a younger sister who is in middle school
And a older brother who doesn't live out here so I don't know what to do and all my parents said for me do to is be strong for him and keep him straight and not let him get into the wronf stuff but I can't do that on my own I have been trying but I cant...
Can someone give me some advice cause I'm lost I don't know where to go or
Do from here. Thanks.
R.I.P- A.G <3

[redhed35]

Grieving takes it own form with everyone, the death of his mother is still very raw,and mostly what works for one will not work for the other.

Girls typically like to talk things out, and rehash the situation,its good to talk.

Boys, mostly tend to bury their feelings,and can only get a release from the grief after they have had a few drinks.. this is not the case with everyone,but it would be somewhat typical behaviour.

Really the only thing you can do is be there if he wants to talk,although because your young, it may all seem very overwhelming,and you end up not knowing what to say or how to react..

Just being his friend for now is enough. Don't take on the responsibility for his grief,or how he expresses it.

I'm sure there are aunts,uncles,and a father who will be watching out for him.

[Jake2008]

Had to spread the rep Red, but your advice was right on the money.

As Red said, people grieve in different ways, and at different times. The only thing that is certain, is that emotion and behviour can be unpredictable when your boyfriend is trying to cope with this tremendous loss.

Your parents are right in saying be strong for him. That doesn't mean having the right words, or knowing what to say, or understanding everything he says to you. Just know that you must be a very sympathetic and understanding person to have him comfortable enough to share his grief with you.

He's lucky he has you. It will all happen naturally, and I'm sure you will be there for him when he needs you. That's all you can do.

[artlady]

I agree with all the above advice but running around and getting hammered is not going to help him to come to terms and it is no excuse for getting wasted.

Some people would USE that as an excuse as long as they can.

I am not saying he is but it is something to consider.

He needs his family and while he needs you as well,I would not encourage him to continue the way he is.

He has to accept what has happened and honor his mother by understanding the relationship and coming to terms with the reality.

Losing a parent is not an excuse to destroy your own life.