[DarkSkinGirl]

Brown Deceit,

I think it's regional. In some places, black men care about skin color more than others. Colorism is everywehre but its worse depending on where you live. For instance, I hear its pretty bad down south, and in places like LA.(are you from down south, I hear a lot of darkskin wo men complaining on YouTube about how hard it is in the southern regions) But if you go to New York, skin color doesn't matter that much (that's what some of the black women I've chatted with online said)


I do know that a brown or darkskin women can get noticed if they have a really really nice body like a big booty. Then skin color becomes a bit irrelavant. I am a dark brown woman who has a small waist and big booty, so when I get down about my color, I thank god that I can fall back on my nice frame.

[BrownDeceit]

DarkSkinGirl. You're so right I think it is more extreme in other reasons as opposed to others. When I was in the midwest it seemed like you couldn't get any attention unless you were white or mixed. But now that I am in New York I would say that sometimes it doesn't matter. But you still have some men that just refuse to be with a dark skinned woman! And honestly. I don't like being looked at for just my frame. I'd rather people look at my face and see that I'm beautiful. It makes me feel better than if they just like me because I have a big chest. (I'm just going to ignore these random people that have decided to pollute our board with their drama. I don't come on here to argue. They don't know our lives or our positions)

[shazamataz]

DarkSkinGirl. You're so right I think it is more extreme in other reasons as opposed to others. When I was in the midwest it seemed like you couldn't get any attention unless you were white or mixed. but now that I am in new york I would say that sometimes it doesnt matter. but you still have some men that just refuse to be with a dark skinned woman! and honestly. I don't like being looked at for just my frame. I'd rather people look at my face and see that I'm beautiful. It makes me feel better than if they just like me because I have a big chest. (I'm just going to ignore these random people that have decided to pollute our board with their drama. I don't come on here to argue. they don't know our lives or our positions)

Exactly, why settle for a guy who is so superficial that your skin has to be a certain color before he will think you are pretty?

And also, since when is this YOUR board?
I do not think anyone in the skin lightening forum created askmehelpdesk.

[Golden_Boy]

Do it to love yourself more.

Not for anyone to love you!

[nikkicute]

I just LOVE the attention. and it's POSITIVE attention. And I no longer feel like I have to show off my body to get attention. I can dress classy and elegant. And they like me. They look at my FACE. and they LOVE it. It feels SO GOOD.

I'm a women.
I'm a black women.
And I agree with everything he said!
There are guys out there who like brown women.
I think your just kidding yourself.
Why is that so hard for you to believe?

It seems like you have done this for attention and that's sad.
What's the matter? You couldn't dress classy and elegant when you were darker? You had to show off your body to get attention? Why:confused:

[Golden_Girl]

I have to 110% agree with BrownDeceit. She isn't saying that dark is not beautiful. It is very beautiful. But to not 100% understand is like telling a person who is mistreated to just deal with it. I understand completely where she is coming from. And if you are not a borwn or dark skin female, then it is impossible for you to understand as you have not walked in their shoes. Until you walk in their's and my shoes, then feel free to judgementally express your opinion.

Why can't causcasian people embrace themselves without sitting out in the sun and increase chances of getting skin cancer or by bronzers or other artificial ways to darken their skin. Which do you prefer?

This?
Or this?


Yes, my point exactly. Of course the second, if not darker... except you still do not have to experience years of injustice as many of us who have. Not only black woman, but asian, indian, mexican, etc.

Thank you

[divaforlyfe]

[QUOTE=Golden_Girl;2030357]I have to 110% agree with BrownDeceit. She isn't saying that dark is not beautiful. It is very beautiful. But to not 100% understand is like telling a person who is mistreated to just deal with it. I understand completely where she is coming from. And if you are not a borwn or dark skin female, then it is impossible for you to understand as you have not walked in their shoes. Until you walk in their's and my shoes, then feel free to judgementally express your opinion.

Why can't causcasian people embrace themselves without sitting out in the sun and increase chances of getting skin cancer or by bronzers or other artificial ways to darken their skin. Which do you prefer?

This?
Or this?


Yes, my point exactly. Of course the second, if not darker... except you still do not have to experience years of injustice as many of us who have. Not only black woman, but asian, indian, mexican, etc.

I agree with you BUT the difference is that white people tan and get darker not for other people to accept them, they do it for themselves, it seems that minorities bleach or lighten to be accepted. Remember that the western world or "white" as some would say are the ones who have created the standard that other races try to live by. So in a way it's more OK for them to do this they are not tanning to look Black or step out of their race, white people are very secure with who they are in general.

[dessaml]

I'd rather be dark than be GINGER anyday!


(no offense to any gingers on here... but if you were ginger I don't know why you would be lightening your skin even more... the next step is albino)

[EggoMini]

Oh wow, lol! I love 'gingers'.. if I had to be a white person I'd be a vivid redhead with a few freckles.

It's an exciting color scheme for humans.. the birds and fish got the best bright colors, imo.

[Itss A New Day]

At the end of the day BrownDeceit and everyone else on this lightening board has their own motivation for lightening. If she lightens for social acceptance then that is her business and maybe one day she will not care what anyone thinks of her, but that is her motivation right now. Each of us has our own insecurities so let's not be so quick to prey on anyone's insecurities. My only advice BrownDeceit is that physical attraction is the 1st thing everyone sees no doubt, but make sure you find a man that doesn't love you solely because you are light, because remember that these lightening creams are only temporary fixes and our true color sometimes comes back and tells on us, and hopefully a man will not leave you because you got darker.

[shazamataz]

Your second picture did not work so there is nothing to compare to.

yes, my point exactly. Of course the second, if not darker... except you still do not have to experience years of injustice as many of us who have. Not only black woman, but asian, indian, mexican, etc.

I agree with you BUT the difference is that white people tan and get darker not for other people to accept them, they do it for themselves, it seems that minorities bleach or lighten to be accepted. Remember that the western world or "white" as some would say are the ones who have created the standard that other races try to live by. So in a way it's more OK for them to do this they are not tanning to look Black or step out of their race, white people are very secure with who they are in general.

And who says I have not experienced 'years of injustice' because I am pale?
It goes both ways, you also do not know my race, simply that I am "white"

People who use products to tan their skin are in my opinion fakes... they do it purely for aesthetic reason an honestly every person I have met who tans their skin is a complete bimbo.
I personally do not like skin cancer or looking orange.

I agree with your comments Itss a new day, I do hope she (or anyone) is not just looking for a man who noticed their skin color first and their personality second.

And yes lightening creams are only temporary, you are going to have to do it every single day your entire life if you want to be "happy"
Nothing is worth that much pain and frustration to look "good"

I think the first girl looks very pretty, but I also think the second one is pretty as well... that is just based on looks... if they are absolutely obsessed with their skin I wouldn't want to know them.



Beauty is only skin deep, as the saying goes.

[dessaml]

Beauty is only skin deep, as the saying goes.

I'm going to temporarily morph into superficial b*tch mode, okay? Is everybody ready?

GO!

Only ugly people say beauty is skin deep, or people who are already beautiful and want to piss the rest of us off Because they have no choice but to be happy with what they've been given. It's like saying don't wear makeup, why look "ok" when you can look great? I don't bleach my skin to make me happy, I do it for actual hyperpigmentation reasons... and if I get ligher in the process great, a warm caramel complexion is just fine by me. It's easy for you to say that about skin bleaching, you're ALREADY pale. same with Tyra Banks when she did her show... easy for her to say not to lighten, she already is light! I also got my breasts done, everybody who already had large boobs told me not to and everybody who was small breasted and couldn't afford a breast augmentation told me not to because they were forced to be happy with what they had and assumed I should be as well. True, you can be as light as you want and still be miserable and a bad person but I don't really think any of us have that problem on this board, and if there is then they need more help then a jar of hydroquinone can provide. I think laying in a tanning bed is silly and I would never do it... But that's because I have more than enough color, but I can understand why other people do it, society dictates that tans are desirable. Society is stupid too, but it's the world we live in, and in a perfect world we would all be happy with ourselves, but that's just a fantasy. And besides, it's cheaper for me to bleach my skin then it is for my to get a therapist and work through myself image issues and be 100000% happy with myself, I don't think there's enough money or therapy in this world for that, there will always be something I'm not too keen on, which doesnt mean I lead a life that is any less happy, whether its a my skin, my weight, whatever! by the way, I'm not attacking you in any way so don't feel as if I am, I promise I'm not, this statement is more general than directed at you per se.

*morphs back*

Okay, glad that superficial rant is over... moving on:D

[shazamataz]

Only ugly people say beauty is skin deep.

Wow, thanks, I never called you or anyone on this thread ugly...

It's like saying don't wear makeup, why look "ok" when you can look great?

I rarely wear make-up... why should I smear crap all over my face for OTHER people... I don't give a crap what other people think about me.

It's easy for you to say that about skin bleaching, you're ALREADY pale.

Did you not read the comparison of lightening vs tanning?

true, you can be as light as you want and still be miserable and a bad person but I don't really think any of us have that problem on this board,

Actually, all I find on this board is b*tchiness, whinging, moaning and low self esteem... no to mention blatant racism towards anyone with white skin. (ie: being told to get off THEIR/YOUR board because of my skin color... if it was the other way around it would be world war 3)

if there is then they need more help then a jar of hydroquinone can provide.

Be careful! I have said pretty much the same thing before and got completely blasted and abused for it... double standards much?

by the way, I'm not attacking you in any way so don't feel as if I am, I promise I'm not.

I read this last so.. by the way, my post above is not attacking you either

[dessaml]

Wow, thanks, I never called you or anyone on this thread ugly...


I rarely wear make-up... why should I smear crap all over my face for OTHER people... I don't give a crap what other people think about me.



Did you not read the comparison of lightening vs tanning?



Actually, all I find on this board is b*tchiness, whinging, moaning and low self esteem... no to mention blatant racism towards anyone with white skin. (ie: being told to get off THEIR/YOUR board because of my skin color... if it was the other way around it would be world war 3)



Be careful! I have said pretty much the exact same thing before and got completely blasted and abused for it... double standards much?



I read this last so.. by the way, my post above is not attacking you either

Like I said... my post was more general than at you. But I stand by what I said, only ugly people say beauty is skin deep or people who are already beautiful and say it to piss everybody else off. I don't entirely disagree with what you said, my primary goal is to fix hyperpigmentation... not lighten my skin, and I have seen some things on this site that have made me raise my eyebrow... I won't repeat them lest someone decides to have a fit over it. I am not familiar with you, this is the first post I have seen from you on here... Why are you here exactly? Do you have rosacea or acne scars?? Etc? If you have been treated poorly it's not because you are white, it's because people are so very defensive (yes, I have gotten into it with a couple people on here who said crazy things) and when white people come to this forum its usually to give us a song and dance about how bleaching is bad, love yourself blah blah...

[shazamataz]

Like I said... my post was more general than at you. But I stand by what I said, only ugly people say beauty is skin deep or people who are already beautiful and say it to piss everybody else off. I don't entirely disagree with what you said, my primary goal is to fix hyperpigmentation... not lighten my skin, and I have seen some things on this site that have made me raise my eyebrow... I won't repeat them lest someone decides to have a fit over it. I am not familiar with you, this is the first post I have seen from you on here... Why are you here exactly? Do you have rosacea or acne scars?? Etc?

If I say I have acne scars will everyone get off my back about being in this forum?
That is not directed at you, many others have told me to basically "pi$$ off" because I voiced my opinion.

his is the first post I have seen from you on here

Actually I have over 3,000 posts, there is more to this forum than the skin lightening section, although most regulars wouldn't know it
:: intended to be humour ::

If someone came along and posted in the Dogs forum and they didn't own a dog I would not tell them they don't belong there, I would welcome their input and fresh insight into situations...
This board seems to have a tight knit group of people who band together and drive out any newcomers... newsflash, I am not going anywhere.

Yes I raise my eyebrows quite often, and when I do I let everyone know...
Why bother keeping my opinions to myself when they may in fact make someone realise that they should love themselves for who they are, not what society deems "right"

I am all up for a discussion, I like hearing others people opinions, it's just that certain people are so close minded they do not like hearing the opinions of others.

[shazamataz]

and when white people come to this forum its usually to give us a song and dance about how bleaching is bad, love yourself blah blah...

That is where I want there to be a discussion but I always get shot down and told it's none of my business, and the name calling starts.

If you are posting on this forum then people should be asking your intentions behind lightening, same goes for tanning as well.
The emotional factors need to be fully explored as well as the physical damage (YES there is physical damage, I can't count how many posts I have read where someone tried a product and ended up bumpy or burnt)

I don't have a problem with people who lighten for the right reasons, it's just no-one has yet to explain/tell me what their reason are and what makes them 'right'

[dessaml]

If I say I have acne scars will everyone get off my back about being in this forum?
That is not directed at you, many others have told me to basically "pi$$ off" because I voiced my opinion.


Actually I have over 3,000 posts, there is more to this forum than the skin lightening section, although most regulars wouldn't know it
:: intended to be humour ::

If someone came along and posted in the Dogs forum and they didn't own a dog I would not tell them they don't belong there, I would welcome their input and fresh insight into situations...
This board seems to have a tight knit group of people who band together and drive out any newcomers... newsflash, I am not going anywhere.

Yes I raise my eyebrows quite often, and when I do I let everyone know...
Why bother keeping my opinions to myself when they may in fact make someone realise that they should love themselves for who they are, not what society deems "right"

I am all up for a discussion, I like hearing others people opinions, it's just that certain people are so close minded they do not like hearing the opinions of others.

Okay so you have acne scars, welcome then... We will be more than happy to point you in the right direction on how to fix that:)

Now, as far as posting your opinion,. unless somebody asks for it... you're better off just keeping your mouth shut. If you don't then some people will feed you to the wolves for being "too judgemental" Been there, done that... People say crazy things, I just roll my eyes and get over it, not everybody here thinks the same.

[Itss A New Day]

The first few pages highlight people's experiences and personal reasons for lightening, in response to your question about why people do it. Its about personal happiness at the end of the day and lightening does not affect anyone else's safety or happiness except that of the person who decides to lighten, so ultimately it will be an endless debate, but no one is getting hurt except the person who is lightening themselves. You are welcome on any board to voice your opinion. Not everyone here is "racist" as you say towARDS white people. I don't even think anyone here is racist... right?

[shazamataz]

Okay so you have acne scars, welcome then....We will be more than happy to point you in the right direction on how to fix that:)

Now, as far as posting your opinion, ....unless somebody asks for it...you're better off just keeping your mouth shut. If you don't then some people will feed you to the wolves for being "too judgemental" Been there, done that...People say crazy things, I just roll my eyes and get over it, not everybody here thinks the same.

Oh yes I have been called 'judgemental' many many times, only every in this forum.

I'll leave it for now, and of coarse, I know that my above answers will either be ignored or picked apart and yet again, I will be called "judgemental"

At least you seem to have some sense dessaml.

[dessaml]

its about personal happiness at the end of the day and lightening does not affect anyone else's safety or happiness except that of the person who decides to lighten, so ultimately it will be an endless debate, but no one is getting hurt except the person who is lightening themselves. You are welcome on any board to voice your opinion. Not everyone here is "racist" as you say towARDS white people. I dont even think anyone here is racist... right?

You put that so well!! My respones always come out so y, my bad.:p

I'm not racist, if people on here are against white people... then I haven't noticed it:confused: