[fnasmom]

I have a great boyfriend, the only thing wrong with him is that he has no motivation, he's very lazy and laid back, I was married for over 18 years and recently got divorced. Every time I break up with my boyfriend I miss him so much because we have great chemistry, as soon as we brake up I want him back but as soon as he does text me back or calls me and were back on, I don't want him anymore... what is that?:eek:

[redhed35]

The thing that stands out from your post for me,is you say the only thing 'wrong' with him.

We all have are failings,laid back is not so bad,mean rotten drunken drug using beater is 'wrong' and even then,there's a serious issue there,so 'wrong' is not quite the right word.

Is he very different then your ex?

Do you love him,and want your relationship to work?

Or do you see his good qualities when he gone.

I am always busy, and find it hard to relax and unwind,my boyfriend is so laid back and easy going I swear sometimes he a heartbeat away from dead.. but I love that about him,we balance each other out.

As for leaving and missing him? That on off on off cycle is hard to break,either talk it out and try to find a compromise,accept the good with the bad or walk away for good.

[Cat1864]

How long have you been divorced? How long (total) have you had this on/off relationship with your boyfriend?

Not all chemistry experiments go well. You need to take a step back and decide if you are ready for a relationship or if you are still carrying a lot of baggage from the marriage/divorce. How do memories of the ex-husband affect your thoughts and feelings about the boyfriend?

[Gemini54]

Sounds like you're not ready for a relationship yet. You want him (physically) you don't want him (emotionally).

I suspect what you're probably looking for at the moment is a release after 18 years of marriage - the chemistry between you makes you feel good but your brain is telling you he's not quite right for you.

Just take it as it comes. If you see it for what it is, a diversion after your divorce and don't have too many expectations, then you can enjoy the chemistry until it peters out.

Not all relationships have to be serious. Give yourself time to heal and have some fun.

[talaniman]

Could be your expectations are to high, and your not really into a real relationship, after all those years of marriage. I suspect your just scratching an itch, because that's all you want.