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Prillmill · Oct 8, 2009, 09:03 AM

First off, thanks for all of the advice everyone gives here. And for anyone reading this... LISTEN TO THE ADVICE.. I see people ask, read, and absorb nothing. If this is a common question I apologize, I didn't find anything.

Story time!! Let's do a little Reservoir Dogs naming here
My Friend: Yellow
Friend's friend who just got out of relationship: White (8 month relationship)

Since my breakup with my ex in May (you can read my previous question.. and I'm maintaining NC). I have dated a few girls but nothing past date #1. I have since become really good friends with a girl, Yellow (strictly friends, and really good ones). Through her I met her friend, White and was immediately attracted to her but she was in a relationship. I made NO moves or anything. Yellow knows I like her and Yellow told me 2x weeks ago that White was going to break up with her boyfriend after a mutual friend's wedding.

We were watching football this last Sunday with a big group at BWW and White came to watch the game with us. (she broke up with her boyfrend the night before) From there I told her about some Crown XR I recently got and she said "why aren't we at your house then?" We ALL went to my house after the game and everyone dwindled away. Her and I stayed up talking and showing each other different music. Was a good vibe, playful tickling, I sensed she wanted a kiss but didn't want to do anything after a fresh breakup. We've talked a few times since and I have a good vibe with her and would ask her out in a heartbeat if she didn't recently get out of a relationship.

What are some good signs to look for? I don't want to be a rebound. Part of me is itching to go for it but that's just emotion. I thought about jokingly saying "how long should I wait before I ask you out?". LOL, I know everyone recovers differently, any thoughts?

I wish · Oct 8, 2009, 09:12 AM

Now's not the time to look for signs because both of you are on the rebound.

Just take it slow. Focus on getting to know each other and enjoying your time together.

But you should keep getting to know more people. There's no need to rush into a relationship so fast. Give each other some time to recover from the recent break up. More importantly, give yourself more time to recover too.

Finally, you're single now. Enjoy the single life!

Prillmill · Oct 8, 2009, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by I wish

Sounds like you're both on the rebound. Just take it slow. Focus on getting to know each other and enjoying your time together. No need to rush into a relationship. Give each other some time to recover from the recent break up.

Thanks! I needed a slap. I think my thought process has been to make sure nobody else scoops her up... I'm going to chill out, slow down, enjoy her company and if it happens, it happens.

redhed35 · Oct 8, 2009, 11:00 AM

I would leave it somewhere between 3 to 6 months... that sounds a bit long,but you want to make sure she is really over the other guy,and maybe the rebound too.. there may not be a rebound,if she is interested in you,you will be in her thoughts,take it easy,there's no rush... the longer the chase,the sweeter the seduction.

Cat1864 · Oct 8, 2009, 11:23 AM

Since she just broke up with the guy, give her space and friendship. Be careful that she isn't trying to use you to re-affirm her own self-esteem and desirability.

She may need some meaningless 'one date only' dates (like you have) before she can comfortably settle down into a new longer-term relationship. If you do care about her, don't make a big deal of it. She is going to need to find her own way to heal and get rid of the baggage from the last relationship so that it doesn't get piled onto the next one.

3-6 months sounds like a reasonable amount of time to get to know who she is when she isn't in a relationship or possibly ready to rebound.