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bash10 · Oct 5, 2009, 05:38 PM

I get regular pap smears every year consistently and somehow within the past year a severe case of HPV showed up. I did a biopsy and the doctor said he didn't think it looked that bad, than the results came back and it actually was that bad. It's so bad he said it could be considered microscopic cancer. I have a LEEP procedure scheduled a week from now and I have yet to tell my boyfriend of 4 years. He thinks the worst in everything and I'm afraid he'll blame me for something outrageous instead of admitting his own history of "youthful indiscretion". I'm so anxious for the procedure alone and I fight tears everyday knowing I now have only a week to find some way to tell him.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 5, 2009, 06:04 PM

If you have such a poor relationship with a boyfriend that you are afraid to tell him that you are going to have surgary, you need to tell him, and then afterwards, start working on developing a relationship

bash10 · Oct 5, 2009, 06:28 PM

We have a great relationship and it's not the surgery part of telling him, it's using an "STD" in the same sentence! I've had perfect examinations and then all of a sudden this pops up out of no where. It's more of my own insecurities than anything. We have a great future planned and I only want to make sure things get explained correctly without any blame coming or going. I can't find enough information on the contraction of HPV so I'm not comfortable with answering questions he may have.

Gemini54 · Oct 5, 2009, 06:45 PM

If your relationship is good then the STD bit shouldn't matter.

Just tell him what you're telling us here. That you're insecure, concerned, worried. That you think he'll think the worst of you.

Developing a good, trusting relationship means dicussing and dealing with difficult things. Be open, and if he responds with doubts and worry hear what he has to say.

Remind him that you would like his support at this time.

I really hope the procedure goes well.