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imgraine · Oct 2, 2009, 02:27 PM

I found out my daughter is pregnant she is 14 years old and the guy is 24 according to his my space page. I know it is against the law for him to have sex with her. I have already filed a police report. I am just lost, I do not know what to say or do. I am sure she wants to keep it. I have always taught my children that abortion is not an option. So why do I feel it is best for me now. What rights will he have? What rights do I have, as a grandparent? Can he decide that he wants her baby and take it? Will the law grant him custody even if I think it is child molestation? I need help and answers.

Justwantfair · Oct 2, 2009, 02:32 PM

Well charging him for statutory rape is a plus, it may also leave him with jail time which will also benefit your daughter in keeping his visitations to a minimal amount, possibly supervised, once he serves his sentence.

There are many more issues to be discussed in this situation and the outcome could depend on what happens in his criminal case.

How does your daughter feel about this situation?
You may not have many rights unless you formally adopt the child, which may also be another option as your daughter is very young to be a parent.

stinawords · Oct 2, 2009, 09:13 PM

If he is convicted of statutory rape his rights can be removed for that reason alone in most states. I have seen it happen personally. As for grandparent rights, it really depends on your state but seeing that your daughter is only 14 it is likely that if she wants to keep the child vs. giving it for adoption (another good idea and it isn't an abortion) she will need you very very much.

Synnen · Oct 3, 2009, 11:04 AM

Get your daughter into counseling. Pronto.

She needs to know all of HER options, without you or anyone else influencing her decisions.

What YOU do right now is be there for HER. You don't judge her, you don't try to influence her, you just be there for what SHE needs you to be there for.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 3, 2009, 12:30 PM

First think of the daughter, not yourself for now, some man has taken advantage and she fell for his lies for some reason,

So she needs counseling for this and to deal with having a baby at 14.

I see little chance of him getting custody, perhaps some visits at most.
But this most likely would be supervised, but my guess is that rights could be taken away.

ScottGem · Oct 3, 2009, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by imgraine

I have always taught my children that abortion is not an option. So why do I feel it is best for me now.

First, its not what's best for YOU, but what's best for your daughter. On the other hand, I think that is why you are feeling it is an option, maybe the best option. I think you are concerned for your daughter and the problems she will encounter having a child at 14. These are very real concerns (and I might add something many people who claim to be anti-abortion don't consider).

I agree with the others that, if this guy is 24, then he will likely spend a significant time in jail so getting custody of the child is not likely.

rockstrzfem · Oct 12, 2009, 04:39 PM

Dependent upon what state you are in, you may have little or no rights when it comes to her decision. In many states a minor needs a parent or legal guardian's consent to have an abortion. If you are the legal guardian you will have to have proof when you go to a safe and legal clinic (do your research!). Otherwise she will need a parent, now there are ways around this, she can apply for a judicial bypass which means she goes in front of a judge and he may or may not give her consent to have the procedure without parental consent. AGAIN, this depends on your state. If you know of a local clinic, your best bet is to call and ask what the laws are where you live. If she decides to keep the baby, they can also refer you to agencies that can help her, low cost doctors, help her with paperwork for insurance etc. I would definitely press charges against this guy or talk to your granddaughter about what steps she would like to take. Going through the steps of reliving a rape can be traumatic and many times it is just not reported because of this. Be compassionate and try to understand what she is going through right now. She needs your support!

I meant "daughter" sorry, not granddaughter