[ohgeez]

My boyfriend and I have known each other for about 6 months now, and in a serious relationship for about 5... neither one of us has said I love you, neither one of us has cheated... however I feel loved, and I enjoy my time with my boyfriend... I do have a bit of a jealousy issue... and I've been working on it.. I had a temper last night about something that was embaressing to him... I apologized after to him, and he said he wants to break up and he began crying... we talked for like 3 hours this morning also... and he was crying and crying.. and said he wants to think about it at work today and we're still together, but he is coming over later tonight right after work to talk... I'm well aware of what I do wrong, I sometimes let my jealousy get the best of me.. and I know he wouldn't cheat... is there anything I can do or say to get him to stay? I promised that I was going to talk things out instead of exploding when I'm jealous... I really love him, and I feel like we could be together a long time... I also told him I'm so willing to work on things... what else can I do?

[I wish]

If you're willing to work things out, then you're pulling your weight in terms of effort. However, it's up to him if he wants to pull his weight and make the necessary effort to make this relationship work.

A relationship takes hard work from both people involved. If he's willing to make the effort, then keep talking things out until you've fixed your problems. List out each problem with him and find a compromise/solution together. Keep the discussion calm and civilized. Work as a team. Communication is key.

[ohgeez]

out of seemingly no where... we were together for 4 1/2 months... and it was going pretty well besides 2 tiny times where I had a girl moment... everything was good.. we talked about long term... neither of us wanted to be with anyone else... we still don't... and I don't know how to kick this... I can't eat since then... I'm a mess a blubbering mess... I randomly cry throughout the day... what do I do? How do I get closure? I gave him a few days then called him... when we see each other it starts well... we cuddle... he hears what I say and agrees at moments... and then says he can't do this.. and he doesn't ever give me a reason why... I don't understand? He's coming over today after work to bring me a few things I asked for that I left at his place... what can I do to ask for closure? How can I get it? I even texted his sister.. I know I went to the old crazy routine... please help...

[I wish]

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread

His feelings changed. If that's how he feels, you haven't respect his wishes. It's not like you can force him back into a relationship. Leave each other alone so that you can recover from this break up. You get closure from within, you don't get it from him. It's still the early stages of the break up, so it's still traumatizing. Give yourself some time to heal.

[Cat1864]

The only thing I will add to what I wish said is to take this time to work on the issues that you know you have, the jealousy and self-esteem.

It's going to hurt and feel like the end of the world, but it isn't. You need to start pulling yourself together before the pieces get too scattered.

Eat, sleep, do at least one thing each day that you know makes you feel better about yourself, keep yourself busy, etc. Try not to fall into the trap of thinking only negative thoughts. Turn them into positive thoughts and ideas. Use them to improve yourself. Instead of thinking, 'I drove him away because I am jealous,' think about why you react that way and how to change those thoughts.

Read the stickies at the top of the forum, especially the one about No Contact. They have some advice that might help you get back up on your feet.

[Justwantfair]

The two stories are very conflicting. The time together, the status of the relationship, the problem.

What exactly would a 'girl moment' be?

[ohgeez]

Can I just update that after a month of head games from him using me for sex and then after saying he doesn't want to be with me and there is no chance... we've almost been broken up 3 1/2 months and I've realized there are sooo many better people that will treat me way better... hind sight I was being treated like the whole relationship!

[amicon]

That's good news.
Look forward to having healthy relationships in the future.
Good luck.

[Romefalls19]

Good for you! Very proud you called it off