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Mistyblue023 · Sep 27, 2009, 11:23 PM

Omg I am so glad I found this sight.

I have been with my husband for 14 years and one day he comes home from work and decides o tell me he cheated on me with the bosses secretary and got her pregnant and now has a one month old baby. He told me he hates her and it was the biggest mistake he ever made. He regretted it the minute it happened and tried to break it off gently as he didn't want it to affect his job. For the record she knew he was married from day one and still pursued him. He had been going through some things like no sales and some gambling issues and instead of confiding in me he confided in her. As I was saying, he was trying to bteak it off and she came back with she's pregnant. He wanted her to get an abortion and at first she said yes but then later decided to keep it.

After he told me, I decided I loved him and I wanted to work it out with him. After all, people make mistakes and I have been with him so long and love him so much that I couldn't just throw that away for one mistake. Another reason I stayed is because I cannot have children of my own. I always prayed to god to bless mr with a child and I believe in some weird way, this is his gift. Another reason I decided to stay is because I truly feel how sorrowful and ashamed my husband is and he really does dispise the other women.

I have met with the other women amd she cooberates his story and states that it was a huge mistake and she doesn't have feelings for him and that she just wants him to be a father. I am civil with her so I can visit with the baby.

My husband and I are getting along well and enjoying his daughter. Here, however, is the kicker!! When the baby was born, he told his sister and his mom. They all went to meet the baby together. He and his sister and her husband were going to go see the baby on another day and I just so happened to stay home from work that day so he had to cancel. His sister called the babies mother and went to visit her without him. Ever since then they have been inseparable and hang out every weekend. His sister and hubby and my mother in law go on outings together, bbqs and dinners at each others houses and I even heardy mother in law refer to her as her daughter in law. His sister is now a few months pregnant and overheard the mistress refer to her unborn child as her little niece or nephew and what a great "auntie" she's going to beidLy sister in law never corrected her by the way (side note). After my mother in law found out I knew and was going to stick it out, she came to my house and started telling me all these terrible lies that my husbands cheated on me with like 20 girls and that he never loved me and that he wanted to be with the babies mom... Right after she left I spoke with the other woman and verified that none of that was true.

So here I am getting along and happy with my husband and his family treats her like royalty and like she's part of the family. We were all very close (especially his sister and her husband) and now I feel totally betrayed by them. They don't even invite my husband and me on these outings with the mother and the baby. We have confronted them about this and don't see what the problem is. My husband is livid about this and every time we get together it comes up and a huge fight ensues. I love them so much and I cannot believe they are treating me this way. I guess after 14 years with them, I never really meant that much to them. This could have been so great but they ruined that. Of course the other woman is loving every minute I'm sure. She couldn't have my husband so I guess she tried to get his family instead.

Please give me some feedback as I have no one to talk to about this except my hubby and it always ends in an argument. (I am to mortified to tell my family about the affair)

I feel so hurt and betrayed. I feel like I am being cheated on all over again. One of the reasons I stayed with him is because I loved his family so much. I just don't know what to do. The baby's second birthday is coming up as well as his sisters baby shower and it makes me feel so bad when I see them all together being this fake family.

GottaVENT · Sep 28, 2009, 07:56 AM

Question: Did they know the mistress before the baby? I can't imagine my in-law doing that... (but you can't put anything pass people)--when I was in my situation, the in-laws welcomed the child... but the mother was not welcome!

Mistyblue023 · Sep 28, 2009, 12:33 PM

No they met her when my husband brought the baby over to meet her grandma and her aunt

GottaVENT · Sep 28, 2009, 12:43 PM

Then I believe your in laws should respect you as the wife... and cut it off with the mistress... YOU SHOULD BE PRIORITY! Write a letter and let them know how you feel (I like letters and emails... because you can clearly say how you feel)... keep the dramatics to a minimum... but let them know you feel as if you're an outsider--and it shouldn't be that way. THE MISTRESS has no place in the family unit--if they don't understand that.. then just stay away... and hopefully, your husband will too. If you are cordial with the mistress--you all can see the baby during times other than family gatherings. Make your absence noticeable! This will only work with your husband's support.

Mistyblue023 · Sep 28, 2009, 01:22 PM

Oh he's totally on the same page as I am. In fact he is more upset about it then me. It makes him absolutely livid when he sees them all together and he hasn't spoken to his family at all. Every six months or so his sister will call us and try to hash it out but bottom line is that she doesn't think that the relationship she has with the mistress has anything to do with her relationship with me and my husband and she is not going to stop the relationship. My mother in law is just a total psychopath, she refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing when she came to my house and tried to sabotage my marriage nor the relationship she has with the mistress. I can't and won't even deal with her. My husband and her have always had a rocky relationship but this was the last straw for him, he keeps saying that his mother is dead to him. I hope that when the baby starts to come be with us on weekends that this psychotic relationship with the mistress will dwindle down or at some point she will find her own man and be with his family. I will take your advise and write them both letters. I'll keep you posted! And thanks for listening and for you advise!