[anusree1982]

Hiii

I need help, I am going insane with all that's happening.. My mother in law is a very good actor.. in front of her son she acts as if she loves me and is caring towards me. But when he is not around she criticizes me so badly.. says so many mean things.. Not one day is peaceful with her.. Though we don't live with them she tortures me with her talk.. I hate her..

One day she called me scolded me for such a long time.. with that I got so angry and asked my husband to stop talking to his mother or if he wants to talk he needs to talk less to her and be in his limits. Am I doing the correct thing. Separating a son from his mother.. I mean not separating but making him a little away from that lady.. Please advice. This is the only topic we both keep fighting about.. and I wanted to give him divorce becoz of this also I went into depression.. please help...

[I wish]

This sounds like a problem between you and your mother in law. Putting your husband in the middle and forcing him to pick between the two of you is unfair to him. Leave him out of the problem.

You decided to marry your husband and you have to accept his family. It's never comforting to hear criticism on a consistent basis. What does she say to you anyway? Is there any truth in what she's saying?

If she didn't want you to marry her son, you would have known about it before the wedding day no? If she let you marry her son, then I'm sure she's giving you a hard time because she wants you to improve.

The first step for you is to handle criticism better. Let her say what she wants, but if you're comfortable with your own decisions, you don't need to follow what she suggests. Secondly, express to your husband that you don't appreciate the way his mother communiates with you. Don't tell him to stop talking to his mother. That won't solve any problems, on the contrary, it will cause a greater rift.

If his mother is going overboard, then you should be the mature one. Try to approach her in a calm and respectable manner. Maybe you can explain to her that you appreciate her criticism, but you would prefer that she communicates with you in a different tone of voice.