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mec176 · Sep 29, 2009, 11:35 PM

A guy I was sleeping with for a few months recently found out that I had been sleeping with someone else when we first got together. Now he's told me that he just wants to be friends but he still responds to my text messages and phone calls (which aren't terribly frequent - usually once or twice a week I'll text him to say) then stops responding as soon as I mention getting together. I did tell him that I really like him and he told me he doesn't want a relationship but we agreed to keep seeing each other. However, he acts completely differently toward me now, he used to call me all the time and want to hang out a lot and now he never says anything when I mention getting together. I know he was upset about me hooking up with this other guy - even though we never talked about dating exclusively. I really like him, but don't know if I should just leave him alone, or if he just needs time to learn to trust me. I have stopped seeing other guys, mostly because I don't like them as much as I like him. We are both in our early twenties, so I'm not looking to get married, but I feel really comfortable around him and we always have a great time. Please advise.

tickle · Sep 30, 2009, 12:53 AM

He told you he doesn't want a relationship and you are not getting the message. There is nothing to advice. The fact that he is not responding to you says it all.

Start dating again.

Tick

redhed35 · Sep 30, 2009, 01:17 AM

Where once you may have been girlfriend material,he has most likely changed his mind.

You were not dating exclusively,so he really can't say you were cheating,but perhaps in his own mind you were,but not officially,if you see what I mean..

But as ticlke said,he's not responding now,so head out into the world.. move on.

I wish · Sep 30, 2009, 04:46 AM

Think about it, if he just wanted a regular friendship, then he wouldn't care who you slept with. It sounds like he wanted something more than a friendship with you at first. But you proved to him that you didn't want that with him by sleeping with another guy. There's nothing wrong with what you did, but it does show him that you want different things.

Giving him time and space won't change what happened. I suggest you leave him alone to let him find someone who wants the same thing he does and you do your own thing.