[La Huera]

:confused::oJee couldn't a better time for advice. Im 22 Have been dating this guy now for 2 years and some odd months. This guy has a so called girl friend-lady-wifey at home. I was and a relationship with my ex for 3 years. Things got rough when I meet this guy. Now that I called it quits with my ex moved, came out closer to him. He tells me that he loves me and all that. But there's some times I don't believe him. He spends more time with me , then he does with her. Some times I think probeley he does love me and other times I'm like OK if he loved me then why is he not with me! He makes me so happy. He is the BEST person I have ever met in my life. I love him so much>; ! I have never felt things or feelings about anyone the way I feel for him. So peeps please give me some advice. Or maybe 's it is too late I'm alreadyz in love. Thanks again to all! :o:confused:

[Jake2008]

:confused::oJee couldn't a better time for advice. Im 22 Have been dating this guy now for 2 years and some odd months. This guy has a so called girl friend-lady-wifey at home. I was n a relationship with my ex for 3 years. Things got rough when i meet this guy. Now that i called it quits with my ex moved, came out closer to him. He tells me that he loves me and all that. But theres some times i don't believe him. He spends more time with me , then he does with her. Some times i think probeley he does love me and other times im like ok if he loved me then why is he not with me!? He makes me so happy. He is the BEST person i have ever met in my life. I love him so much>; ! I have never felt things or feelings about anyone the way i feel for him. So peeps please give me some advice. Or maybe 's it is too late im alreadyz in love. Thanks again to all!!:o:confused:

Just so we're on the same page here, you say you have had an affair with a man who has a girlfriend/lady/wifey at home. Can you pick one please? This has gone on for over 2 years.

You had a live-in boyfriend, who found out about this other man, and you and him split after three years together.

So, you've had two men on the go for two years.

You expect the one you had the affair with to leave his girlfriend/lady/wifey? Has he indicated that, or are you just assuming that he will, now that you are single.

You need to ideally spend some time figuring out what you want. If you talk to your boyfriend and he wants to keep things as they are, which I suspect he does, then you have some decisions to make.

What do you want to happen.

[unaffected]

He is the BEST person i have ever met in my life.

Is he also the only person you've ever met? Because otherwise, I have a hard time believing that a man who would have two relationships (at least!) simultaneously for over two years, lying to and cheating on his wife (or whatever she is), leading you on is the BEST person you have ever met in your life.

He is getting everything he wants. A family life with his lady at home, and a mistress on the side who is gaga over him. I'm assuming he is having sexual relations with both of you.

He's a liar and a player, and you've already wasted more time than most would in this situation. Get out and save yourself.

[Justwantfair]

That is one great relationship when after two years you can't even decifer if the other woman is a girlfriend/lady or a WIFE!!

All of these things made him off limits.

You also had a boyfriend, just one big mess.

Time for a clean up crew.

[artlady]

So the question is if he loved you why would he not be with you always and not just on the side.

First of all he is a liar and a cheat so you can't believe what he says.
Anything he says.

What does he do for you that makes him the best guy ever?

Why are your standards so low that you would allow yourself to be the other woman and not THE woman?

[NeedKarma]

She is also trying to get pregnant (and may already be): https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...ml#post1995210
We just don't know with who.

[Clough]

Hi, La Huera!

Why do you think that it's okay to get intimately involved with someone who's already in a committed relationship, please?

Thanks!

[sandalwood7]

Honestly... leave him now. It will never work and this relationhsip will only contribute to your demise and will erode away at your self-esteem.

He has already shown that he does not have a comittment to you. The truth hurts, unfortunately.

His behaviour has already shown you what kind of a man he is. He thinks cheating is OK. He doesn't care about your security or well-being.

Even if what you wanted (him to break up with his woman and be with you) happened, you would realise that you don't really want it. Statistics show that most relationships actually fail in this situation (When someone leaves their partner for another). You will realise that this does nothing for your sense of security because you will always be fearful of him leaving you for someone else (and this is not an irrational fear either). He will be distant and will be mourning the loss of his other relationship, and you won't want to hear about it. He will blame you for his unhappiness (sad truth) because 'you' ruined his relationship. Part of his attracton to you is the fact that you are forbidden and thus this aspect will disappear and his attraction to you will likely lessen. He will start wondering if what he has done is right and maybe he made a mistake... Guilt and anger and despair and insecurity will ruin whatever kind of relationship you ever had. AND THIS IS THE BEST SCENARIO FOR YOU?? Doesn't SOUND THAT GREAT DOES IT?

Affairs are no good, and hardly ever end in happiness for both parties. Cut him out of your life and never see him again (even though he might try to do so). You will realise once you leave him that you are actually happier and have a weight off your shoulders.

[jmjoseph]

So you're committing adultery and you want to know if the guy ( I won't call him a man) loves you?

I'll tell you like I tell everyone who asks that question.

Does he love the mailman?

Does he love the dry cleaner?

Does he love the cook at the diner who cooks him breakfast when his WIFE doesn't feel up to it?

NO. Just like the others , you provide a service to him.

He is using you .

If he loved you, he would be coming home to you, not his WIFE.

You are having sex with a married guy,someone else's HUSBAND, and you're acting so non-chalant about it.

How would you feel if someone was having sex with YOUR husband?

No, he doesn't love you, and you must not love yourself, to allow someone to use you like a toy.

I'm sorry for being so blunt, but you need a wakeup call.

The world is full of guys that aren't married. Go find you one.