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Ebony Perry · Sep 16, 2009, 06:47 PM

I just left a relationship of 10 years with 2 kids. He has had 3 kids outside of our bond
And I took it all from the not coming home to the not helping with house work. Yes I walked
Away but it hurts we weren't always lost. And we did not always have bad times . There were
More good
Days then bad but when it
Was bad it was bad but I still love him so much

Cat1864 · Sep 16, 2009, 07:53 PM

As you have already learned, even if the situation was bad it still hurts to leave it.

It is okay to recognize that you still love him. No matter what happens you are going to have feelings for him, after all, he is the father of your children. That said it doesn't mean that you have to stay in the marriage and put up with infidelity and whatever else.

You just need to accept that sometimes love isn't enough in a relationship. Loyalty, Trust, Responsibility, and Respect are also very important. Not just for the other person but for yourself. It is a hard lesson to learn and an even harder one to model for your children.

Just keep telling yourself that it will get better as you adjust to living without the drama that your marriage sounds like it was centered around. Take some deep breaths, time and space and work on getting your self-esteem back. Little by little you will get through the heartbreak and pain.

talaniman · Sep 19, 2009, 03:10 PM

Your going to hurt for a long time, as a 10 year attachment is hard to break.

Take all the time you need, for yourself.

ohsohappy · Sep 19, 2009, 03:13 PM

This is going to be pretty simple advise, but I believe that it's good advise.

You need to take time for yourself, that's the main thing.
Join clubs or a gym. Many people find friends at the Gym, and it's also a good way to work on your personal appearance. If you take more time to work on your body, it helps the mind too, so try to exercise, or go to Yoga.
I also think you should try to do some puzzles to exercise the brain, it can help take your mind off the things that hurt you.

Just try to have fun, and spend time with peopole who really love you. Keep it up and you will do just fine. :)

I wish · Sep 19, 2009, 05:01 PM

10 years is a huge commitment, so you can't expect yourself to heal overnight. Give yourself some time to recover. Be patient with yourself.

But in the meantime, focus on your children. They are your priority. This might sound funny, but spending time with children reminds me of simpler times and puts my mind more at ease. Hopefully this might work for you as well.