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DianaDorough · Sep 10, 2009, 01:29 PM

Today I was waiting for the bus and this tall, fat guy approached to me, asking for a donation to charity, I said no, and he said Well thanks a lot, let me tell you something, you're really beautiful, then he pushed me against the wall trying to kiss me and touch me, I tried to get out but he was stronger, I screamed and some people came out of a near store to see what was happening, so he freed me and said all kinds of obscene stuff about my body and then ran away.
When the people came to me, I started crying and felt terrible, I was so ashamed but I didn't know why cause it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't stop crying and I just ran home.
The only person I told to was my boyfriend, and he said "It's nothing, you're making it a big deal, nothing happened to you!".
I don't know if I'm exaggerating but I feel really bad cause I can still remember his saliva on my face and it gives me nausea, I'm afraid to go out cause very often, guys tell me stuff about my boobs and that's something that makes me feel really bad :(
Do you think I'm the one who's wrong?

Alty · Sep 10, 2009, 01:33 PM

Do you think I'm the one who's wrong?

Why, because you have boobs? ;)

No, you're not in the wrong here. He assaulted you and you should have called the police.

You aren't to blame.

Cat1864 · Sep 10, 2009, 01:53 PM

Diana, your boyfriend is wrong. Though he may be trying to downplay it so that you don't get more upset.

That man assaulted you and you really need to go to the police. The sooner the better while the witnesses can be easily found. You are probably not the only person he has done that to and with any luck you will be the last.

Gemini54 · Sep 11, 2009, 12:19 AM

Go to the police. You have done absolutely nothing wrong and this man has sexually assaulted you.

You are not making a big deal about it - how dare someone touch you in this way! Your BF is utterly wrong about this - how would he like it if some huge guy tried to attack him sexually and kiss him in broad daylight? Tell him that you're upset and you need his support not his complacency.

Are your breasts big - is that why guys say things to you on the street?

You may need to think about how you can be more confident and assertive so that you don't take these comments to heart. Feeling self conscious about it will make you more of a target, as some guys can be predatory, as you have found out.

spoilsport · Sep 15, 2009, 11:13 PM

If you remember the details of the charity, please contact administration office there and also complain. If the cops are approachable , it is better to tell them .
Please don't feel ashamed. It is the offender who should feel so.
If possible please have someone with you if you go to the area

Your boyfriend might have said this to console you or to make you feel less bad but don't ignore this. If you feel that your breasts are drawing attention then you might try on some different cloths to see if it makes you feel better. But this is only to make you comfortable with yourself and to make you feel safe.

Carry a spray with you read some articles on self defense to be prepared. Don't let strangers get too close to you. If someone approches you, try and find some more people nearby else get the spray out . Do you have meergancy numbers stored in your cell phone?
Do that. Keep some numbers on speed dial. Call if the guy is seen again.
Goodluck.

jenniepepsi · Sep 20, 2009, 06:14 PM

I wanted to throw the idea out there, that your boyfriend may not have been intentionally insensitive towards you. Is it possible he knew someone in his life who WAS raped? And didn't get away?

I'm sorry that happened to you hon *hugs* I'm glad you are safe now. Had I been there with you I would have kicked his 'you know whats' into his throat for you :)

Fr_Chuck · Sep 20, 2009, 07:01 PM

Boyfriends often don't know how to react when a close person, wife or girlfriend is sexually assaulted.

What you needed to do was call the police when it happened so they may have arrested hm

I would still file a police report.

So what do people say about your breasts ? And why does it matter

DianaDorough · Sep 27, 2009, 04:38 PM

Hey I just want to thank everyone who took the time to answer to my question. It has been very helpful for me, for the advices but also for the support, thanks.
I went to the police the next they this happened, my mistake cause I should have gone the very moment it happened.
And I am getting a spray or a stun gun cause I won't let something like that happen to me again :D

Cat1864 · Sep 27, 2009, 04:56 PM

Thank you, for the update.

It is a mistake that I hope you never get a chance to repeat.

I am glad that you went to the police. For your own peace of mind and healing, you know that you did everything you can (until they catch the creep).

Good luck in the future. Try not to let this event make you paranoid. :)