[Bmajova]

We have been dating for 4 yrz.He cheated on me twice with diffent people, he wanted to leave me for the second one but when I decided to let him go he changed his mind, begged me and promised he was a changed man. I am struggling to trust him and I'm also very insecure. I just want to make this relationship work despite all what has happened. I need advice on how to make it work after such heartache??

[shazamataz]

If there is no trust, there is no relationship.

You are always going to be wondering "He's an hour late for work, is he out with a girl" or "He has changed his e-mail password, what doesn't he want me to see"

I read a while ago that mentally, it can take you 2 years to completely get over a partner cheating... he has cheated twice, that's 4 years worth of "getting over it" your entire relationship.

Cut your losses on this oe and move on.
It will be hard yes but you will be better off I the long run when you find a man you can completely trust.

[I wish]

To repair this relationship, it's going to take a lot of hard work. If he's capable of cheating on you twice and get away with it, because you still want him back, then there's a good chance he will cheat a third time.

Why are you putting yourself through so much torture? It's going to require a lot of effort on his part to repair the damage that he cause. Furthermore, you're not even demanding for him to earn back your trust. It sounds more like you're begging him to stick around.

If you keep letting him walk all over you, he will keep doing it. You're a human being, so stop being a dormat. Have more confidence in yourself. Demand what you want from him. If he can't provide it, then move on.

[CrazyThumper]

You still love him? Let me twist this...

Do you think he was LOVING you while he was being intimate with another female? While he was sucking on her face, ripping her clothes off, and climbing into her bed? Oh.. he only kissed another woman? Do you know they say a kiss is often more meaningful/caring then the actual act of sex?

To love someone else is to start with loving yourself... if you let yourself be played not ONCE but TWICE - you have a lot of growing up to do... no matter what your age. He cheated TWICE? Burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice shame on ME. This TOOL will never learn his lesson, because you allow him to keep pulling the wool over your eyes. Wouldn't you SO MUCH rather be with a guy you NEVER EVER have to worry about cheating on you? Who respects you as a woman, a girlfriend, and maybe more in the future? I HATE cheaters.. there is ZERO tolerance for this type of behavior.. he is lacking something in the relationship, OR in himself so he goes elsewhere. Leave this scumbag and take your LOVE for him and give it to someone who deserves it... Argh.

I have never cheated, not once in my life... it shows NO love, loyalty, commitment, or RESPECT for the other person. Not to MENTION he is putting your HEALTH in danger.. Walk away and tell him how you feel using one finger..


Thumper

[goingmad123]

All guys are the same.I am telling u,just leave him.

[gracebabe]

I kind of know what you are going through... I was with my ex 3 years on an off because he would cheat and I did a few times to get back at him.. but I eventually went mad I used to pretend I was asleep wait until he was then go through his phone id be going mad if he was late . Id never let him out by himself and if he did we argue the whole time I basically became really controlling but once someone breaks your trust you can honestly never get it back. Ive cheated in my past and still to this day they've never found out so I know how easy it is to get away with it.

It will be hard to leave him but the more you let him no that you feel like you need him the more he will take advantage of that.

No matter what he says to you what explenations he has for being late or anything like that it will constantly be in the back of your mind. I made myself really ill wasn't eating wasn't sleeping was on anti depresants but you just need to get up and do new things e.g find a new job or something to make you feel like a better person!

You get the odd few exceptions where people change but once a cheat always a cheat and that's the rule

[dilubh]

He is making u fool
Just leave him