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    fd1326's Avatar
    fd1326 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 7, 2009, 11:44 AM
    Why not to fight?
    I had read a number of threads here and notice one thing: no one giving advice to fight for love in case if one of the couple is not in love. Almost all advices is about to left this person alone and find another one. I'm not saying this is bad. But I'm interested why is this? Is it just an economy of the resources, 'cause finding another one is much simpler task than fighting for this one? Or is it because statistically there is very low chances to involve person in love if he\she is not interested in you?

    For me it seems that humans are picking potential partners using some primitive animal instincts and there is no way to fight them if they decided that you are does not fit. So in this case there is only one thing to do - find someone whose instincts will approve you.
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #2

    Sep 7, 2009, 11:54 AM

    Well, why would anyone tell someone who is not in love to fight for love? If it truly sounds like there's a chance the people want to and can work things out, there's always plenty of people to give plenty of suggestions and advice on working things out. But sometimes people post their situation and there just doesn't seem anyway that it can be a healthy relationship or any chance of things working out.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #3

    Sep 7, 2009, 11:55 AM
    No, it's because you can't MAKE someone love you. No matter what resources you have at hand, no matter what you do, you can't FORCE someone to love you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Sep 7, 2009, 12:04 PM

    Define "fight for love"!!
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #5

    Sep 7, 2009, 12:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Define "fight for love"!!!

    Them,chase the other person into the ground,phone,text,email constantly,sit out their house or work.hound them until they scream at you?

    No?

    No,me neither.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #6

    Sep 7, 2009, 12:08 PM
    Occasionally I will advise someone to keep trying, although that's more often in the marriage forum where people have made a commitment. I will not advise someone who asks "Can I get him/her to like me even if we broke up" to try. Dating is about trying to find someone you can make a commitment to. Once a commitment is made, anything I can do to help them keep it is worth doing.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #7

    Sep 7, 2009, 12:09 PM

    There is no point trying to mend what's broken beyond repair.it takes two to want to make any relationship work.
    itried's Avatar
    itried Posts: 249, Reputation: 108
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    #8

    Sep 7, 2009, 12:28 PM
    Fighting for love only occurs in the movies. If any man (or woman) were to pull any of the stunts you see in the average romantic comedy movie he would be defined as a stalker and as a crazy person. Fighting for love is for the naïve, inexperienced and unstable. Once someone walks out of your life and tells you they don't love you or want you anymore, they aren't worth fighting for. Only a desperate person fights for a love that can't/won't be returned. In reality, once love is gone it only comes back if the person who left goes out and gets with a bunch of other people, gets hurt by them and then comes back because they realize that nobody loved them like the one they left. That's not romantic. Pathetic is the appropriate word. Fighting for love can only happen in the context of being in a relationship with the person you love, not when you are apart. When you're apart, all you're fighting is yourself.
    harriejansen's Avatar
    harriejansen Posts: 126, Reputation: 16
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    #9

    Sep 7, 2009, 12:36 PM
    I think the point is that once people come to this board, the level of desperation and of being aware of fighting a losing battle has already set in. So most of us have already fought the fight?

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