[Reuben42]

I have never been married but have 3 children by 2 guys. One of the fathers recently moved across the country. He keeps in touch here and there but gives very little support financially. The other father moved out of the state as well and has not been in touch for a couple months now, nor has provided any support for his child at all.

I have already sought child support from both fathers. I have now decided to file for full custody of my children. Either short term or in the long run, what would be the benefits of filing for full custody? How would not declaring custody possibly cause problems in the future. I do not intend to keep the children from knowing their fathers but would like to be able to raise them as I would like with out having to worry about them coming around later trying to control the situation.

[ScottGem]

You already have full physical custody assuming there is no court ordered visitation for the fathers. You may also have full legal custody, unless a court has issued an order that they have joint legal custody. So filing for full legal custody would be a waste of time, In my opinion.

[Fr_Chuck]

Some jurisdictions will require a custody order to file for support.
If they are listed on the birth certificate it will clarify who has custody

[Reuben42]

Thank you Scottgem and Fr_chuck BUT...

In the Commonwealth of Virginia, just because a man signs the birth certificate or that he is ordered to pay child support does not mean the one parent has full legal custody. All that establishes is who the "custodial" parent is... as in, who is the child or children living with.

I year ago, I was going to move out of state, and the courts told me that unless I have legal custody ordered by the courts, the father can dispute my move, regardless if he is deadbeat dad or not. So I know that is one good reason for getting custody clarified by the courts.

Also, I have heard stories where a single mother tried to get her son a passport so that she could take him to visit her family in South America but she could not unless the father signed the application as well, since his name was on the birth certificate.

What I do know is, in the Commonwealth of VA, the laws for custody are pretty funny. For instance, my friends mother died and his father was never around so his aunt took him in and had been raising him for a few years. When she later tried to get state assistance for the boy, she was denied because custody of him had never been established through the court system.

So that's why I was asking my initial question? Im wondering if later down the line, as my boys get older, would it be possible for issues to arise in their living status if custody is not determined? If something were to happen to me and I want to make plans for my family to raise my boys, would their fathers be able to just walk in and take them away, if I don't establish custody? Or, even if I do gain full custody, if something were to happen to me, would I be able to determine where my boys live or could their fathers still come in and regulate the situation in my absence?