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    honey2009's Avatar
    honey2009 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 4, 2009, 08:32 AM
    Is love is all we need?
    I'm having an affair with a married woman. She still lives in the same house with her husband and 2 children. She's 9 years older than me and we are in the same class. I cheated on my girlfriend (an ex-gf now) with her. I feel likes this woman supports me more emotionaly than my girlfriend. I really this woman and I feel that she loves me too. She said that she's not happy with her married life anymore. Her husband is always busy working and not allowing her to go out after 11pm. We see each other during weekdays and try to go to place where we won't see people we know. Her husband tried to save their marriage but she said that she loves me more now. We are now seeing each other for 4 months now and I can't ask her if she will file a divorce. I know what we are doing is wrong but we love each other. Where do you think this is going?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #2

    Sep 4, 2009, 08:39 AM

    Your single she is not.

    She is unavailable.

    Married.

    Leave this woman alone before this goes any further.

    If its this great love you talk of how come she has not left her husband?
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #3

    Sep 4, 2009, 08:45 AM
    I don't know where this is going, but hopefully it ends up with the two of you breaking it off and going your separate ways. She's married and cheating with you and you lost a girlfriend because you wanted to cheat with this married woman. You're contributing to the potential breakup of her marriage. It's not likely that she'll ever file for divorce. She's in what seems to be a stable, secure home, even if she's not "happy". Why should she give that up for you? Fact is she won't, plain and simple. Now if her jilted husband decides to take action, that's a different story. But we don't know if that'll ever happen either or not.
    Sweet_Guy23's Avatar
    Sweet_Guy23 Posts: 304, Reputation: 27
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    #4

    Sep 4, 2009, 08:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by honey2009 View Post
    I'm having an affair with a married woman. She still lives in the same house with her husband and 2 children. She's 9 years older than me and we are in the same class. I cheated on my girlfriend (an ex-gf now) with her. I feel likes this woman supports me more emotionaly than my girlfriend. I really this woman and I feel that she loves me too. She said that she's not happy with her married life anymore. Her husband is always busy working and not allowing her to go out after 11pm. We see each other during weekdays and try to go to place where we wont see people we know. Her husband tried to save their marriage but she said that she loves me more now. We are now seeing each other for 4 months now and I can't ask her if she will file a divorce. I know what we are doing is wrong but we love each other. Where do you think this is going?
    This isn't going anywhere buddy. This is probably more of a sexual relationship than anything else.

    She loves you huh? What does it say about this woman's integrity and loyality? She is in marriage (grant an UNHAPPY one) with kids (I feel sorry for the kids more than anybody else... POOR KIDS).

    And what about your morality and character sir? You know this is wrong!! You are just as wrong about this as she is.

    Dude drop this woman. She's trouble. Tell her "If she ever gets a divorce then call you."

    LEAVE HER ALONE...

    Just move on dude.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Sep 4, 2009, 10:34 AM
    I know where its been, it lead to you cheating on your g/f, and losing her. As to where its going? Nowhere, as you know its wrong, and she will stay where she is, and has security, and your stuck listening to the crap she tells you, and being in limbo, while you help her cheat on her husband.

    If she was in fact sincere, she would have divorced her husband, and taken up with you. She did not, she keeps you on the side to fill the blanks in her life, with a willing fool.

    She may indeed have feelings for you, most cheaters do, but not enough to take a chance on leaving where she has a life.

    The real question is, why are you being a boy toy, part time love, to someone who has a life without you. Where are you headed??

    ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #6

    Sep 4, 2009, 10:42 AM

    Yes sorry it's a cul-de-sac-a deadend street.time to hit the highway.
    honey2009's Avatar
    honey2009 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Sep 8, 2009, 08:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23 View Post
    This isn't going anywhere buddy. This is probably more of a sexual relationship than anything else.

    She loves you huh? What does it say about this woman's integrity and loyality? She is in marriage (grant an UNHAPPY one) with kids (I feel sorry for the kids more than anybody else...POOR KIDS).

    And what about your morality and character sir? You know this is wrong!!! You are just as wrong about this as she is.

    Dude drop this woman. She's trouble. Tell her "If she ever gets a divorce then call you."

    LEAVE HER ALONE...

    Just move on dude.
    I understand that it's not that easy for her to get a divorce right away. She mentioned to me that she is considering getting one, but I don't know exactly when. Sigh...
    honey2009's Avatar
    honey2009 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Sep 8, 2009, 08:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I know where its been, it lead to you cheating on your g/f, and losing her. As to where its going? Nowhere, as you know its wrong, and she will stay where she is, and has security, and your stuck listening to the crap she tells you, and being in limbo, while you help her cheat on her husband.

    If she was in fact sincere, she would have divorced her husband, and taken up with you. She did not, she keeps you on the side to fill the blanks in her life, with a willing fool.

    She may indeed have feelings for you, most cheaters do, but not enough to take a chance on leaving where she has a life.

    The real question is, why are you being a boy toy, part time love, to someone who has a life without you. Where are you headed???

    ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE.
    When I found out that she's married with kids it's too late because I love her already. Now it's very very hard for me to let her go. I know I'm destroying a family but what can I do now? I'm really in love with this woman. I know I need help, big time.
    honey2009's Avatar
    honey2009 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Sep 8, 2009, 08:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by s_cianci View Post
    I don't know where this is going, but hopefully it ends up with the two of you breaking it off and going your separate ways. She's married and cheating with you and you lost a girlfriend because you wanted to cheat with this married woman. You're contributing to the potential breakup of her marriage. It's not likely that she'll ever file for divorce. She's in what seems to be a stable, secure home, even if she's not "happy". Why should she give that up for you? Fact is she won't, plain and simple. Now if her jilted husband decides to take action, that's a different story. But we don't know if that'll ever happen either or not.
    It's really hard for both of us to break it off, specially now that we are in the same class. I know we can't be like this forever, but for now I really don't know what to do. I'm so much in love with her already.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #10

    Sep 8, 2009, 08:40 PM
    Same class? Can you explain that? Are you in school together or is this a cultural thing?
    Sweet_Guy23's Avatar
    Sweet_Guy23 Posts: 304, Reputation: 27
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    #11

    Sep 8, 2009, 08:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by honey2009 View Post
    I understand that it's not that easy for her to get a divorce right away. She mentioned to me that she is considering getting one, but I don't know exactly when. sigh...
    Dude there you go... rationalizing her actions... bottom line is low interest... but your ego is telling you to be persistent. You'll be waiting forever.

    SHE'S CONSIDERING GETTING ONE? Dude she is just stringing you along. Man can't you see the reality of the situation? Leave her alone.

    Its obvious that you are so in love with this woman. Her interest level is 49%, if that. While yours is 99%... Dude you are losing it...

    Your ego is telling you to stick around and see what happens... she loves you too...

    BUT REALITY IS TELLING YOU IF YOU LISTEN THAT YOU NEED TO DROP THIS WOMAN...

    TELL HER "WHEN SHE GETS HER DIVORCE THEN CALL YOU" BUT IM 99% SURE SHE WON'T DO IT...
    honey2009's Avatar
    honey2009 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Sep 8, 2009, 08:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Same class? Can you explain that? Are you in school together or is this a cultural thing?
    Yes, we are in school together, she's my classmate.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #13

    Sep 8, 2009, 08:50 PM
    You are just a play toy... get used to it. She's not going to leave her husband. If she wants to be with you tell her that you two can be together AFTER her divorce is final and get out of her life until then.

    I bet she won't get a divorce.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #14

    Sep 9, 2009, 02:19 AM

    Married is off limits.she has two children and they should be her priority.
    honey2009's Avatar
    honey2009 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Sep 9, 2009, 10:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23 View Post
    Dude there you go...rationalizing her actions...bottom line is low interest...but your ego is telling you to be persistent. You'll be waiting forever.

    SHE'S CONSIDERING GETTING ONE? Dude she is just stringing you along. Man can't you see the reality of the situation? Leave her alone.

    Its obvious that you are so in love with this woman. Her interest level is 49%, if that. While yours is 99%...Dude you are losing it...

    Your ego is telling you to stick around and see what happens...she loves you too...

    BUT REALITY IS TELLING YOU IF YOU LISTEN THAT YOU NEED TO DROP THIS WOMAN...

    TELL HER "WHEN SHE GETS HER DIVORCE THEN CALL YOU" BUT IM 99% SURE SHE WON'T DO IT...
    How can I just drop her? It's really hard to do that now. I am in love with her and I can't stop loving her already. :(
    honey2009's Avatar
    honey2009 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Sep 9, 2009, 10:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    married is off limits.she has two children and they should be her priority.
    I know they should be her priority, but she's really into me now. She said her husband is trying to fix their issue but it looks like she doesn't want to fix it anymore. Sigh...
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #17

    Sep 9, 2009, 11:11 PM

    No one said it was going to be easy to break it off , but you got yourself into this mess so time to Man up and do the right thing and stop being selfish.

    You can't help the way you feel but you can control how you act upon those feelings.

    I hope for your sake her hubby isn't a Pro wrestler :cool:
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #18

    Sep 9, 2009, 11:15 PM

    HAAA I have to laugh. You're behaving like a mindless idiot. First things, she is NOT going to get a divorce. Second, you didn't find out that she was married with kids until AFTER the affair started?
    That should be a HUGE red flag. She's beenn playing you. She doesn't give a S*** about your feelings, she's more worried about her own emotional needs. She's selfish, and you are too.

    You realize that when her kids find out, which they will, that they will be completely distroyed by it. Even if you were to somehow end up together, They would DISPISE you, and give you endless crap, as well as her, all kinds of hell for it. Kids can be tough, but that's the least of your worries.

    Quit behaving like a moron.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #19

    Sep 10, 2009, 04:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by honey2009 View Post
    How can I just drop her? It's really hard to do that now. I am inlove with her and I can't stop loving her already. :(
    Maybe you don't want to, but you need to. Look if you don't even try to do right, and know your doing wrong, what does that say about you?

    Is this going to be a 100 posts of you telling us you can't leave her alone?? :eek:
    honey2009's Avatar
    honey2009 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Sep 10, 2009, 08:03 PM

    Thank you all for posting! I'm still a mess, but trying to fix myself.

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