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Txfrog · Sep 1, 2009, 02:25 PM

The father of my boys has had no contact with them for over 3 years. He has not called, written, or came to see them. He was recently put in jail when he gets out I don't want him to be able to come around and try to get in their lives. He has never really been there for either of them and doesn't pay child suppoprt on either of them.

cdad · Sep 1, 2009, 02:34 PM

Is there a child support order in place ? What is he in jail for ?

Txfrog · Sep 3, 2009, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Is there a child support order in place ? What is he in jail for ?

On one of the boys there is it has never been enforced. He is in jail for controlled substance and he ran on his probation

excon · Sep 3, 2009, 12:40 PM

Hello Tx:

You HAVE virtual custody of them now. You had it even when he wasn't in jail. He doesn't visit, and he doesn't pay. That means you make ALL the custody decisions.

So, why rattle the cage? If he wants to pursue it, it won't matter that he hasn't paid. It won't matter that he's in jail on drug charges. It won't matter that he ran from his probation... If he wants to enforce his parental rights, he can, and no judge is going to take them away.

What I'd RATHER see you do, is go to court to get a child support order on the second child, and get a visitation schedule too. You're right... He may not take advantage of it... But, it won't be because you wouldn't let him.. You're boys will appreciate that.

If it DOES cause the father to renter their lives, that can only be good for all of them - you too.

excon

zippit · Sep 3, 2009, 12:47 PM

The only reason I could see in pursuing this would be if you are remarried and the new husband wants to adopt both children in that case it would be worth it

cdad · Sep 3, 2009, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by zippit

the only reason i could see in pursuing this would be if you are remarried and the new husband wants to adopt both children in that case it would be worth it

Im not sure you understand the dynamics of the question. Its about sole custody and not about a TPR ( Termination of Parental Rights )

There is a very big difference. For an adoption a TPR would be needed. But not for sole custody. As is the case here the OP can seek sole physical custody by going to court and modifying the custody order and still share legal custody with the father. Also leaving the door wide open for collection of child support.

Txfrog · Sep 3, 2009, 01:28 PM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello Tx:

You HAVE virtual custody of them now. You had it even when he wasn't in jail. He doesn't visit, and he doesn't pay. That means you make ALL the custody decisions.

So, why rattle the cage? If he wants to pursue it, it won't matter that he hasn't paid. It won't matter that he's in jail on drug charges. It won't matter that he ran from his probation... If he wants to enforce his parental rights, he can, and no judge is going to take them away.

What I'd RATHER see you do, is go to court to get a child support order on the second child, and get a visitation schedule too. You're right... He may not take advantage of it... But, it won't be because you wouldn't let him.. You're boys will appreciate that.

If it DOES cause the father to renter their lives, that can only be good for all of them - you too.

excon

I just got done putting in for child support on him but you are wrong him coming in to their lives is not good for them because he makes them empty promises every time I let him back around. I never tried to keep him away but now I will.