[animal_lover]

Hi.

Well my brothers friend is a really funny nice honest and understanding. But he does have some flaws that I'm completely OK with and try to help him with. He has severely low self esteem, trust issues, and anger management. It's all because of his dad, he used to beat him when he was younger and tell him horrible things to make him feel bad about himself.

We always told each other everything and always cheered each other up when we were depressed or whatever. So we were planning on being boyfriend and girlfriend after we told my brother about our situation (he didn't know we liked eachother) so we did tell him and he was OK with it. Then my brother had a party and that's when it all went wrong...

We played paintball and I took a brake and watched a game with the parents and other kids. Then he I guess told everyone to just empty the hopper for a change rather than play elimination. So they started playing and he got hit then everybody was like, dude your out! And he got really mad that everyone was being a "baby" and that they suddenly changed their minds. I could already tell he was p.o. Then his friend went up tto him and was like dude come on don't be a baby. Then he said "stfu I'll bash your face in". Can you believe that? I know he has anger problems but to say that to his friend and in front of everybody??

So I asked him to go for a walk with me and he said he would later. Then for the rest of the party he didn't really talk to anyone and I could tell he was still mad. So we went for a walk and he just said he was mad that they were being baby's and playing it the stupid way. I calmed him down a little after a while.

So then my bro texted him after the party and I guess he could make it to my brothers next party the following Saturday (fathersday on Sunday) when he told my bro he could. Then my bro got a little mad and so did he. He thought it was on fathersday and I don't know but they hit it off.
Then I guess they started called each other tough guy. My bro said well at least I don't bring weapons to a fight. (he got into a fight with som1 and used a bat and told my bro about it) so then he was like oh yeah? Me and you no weapons let's see who walks away. He said that to my brother, his best friend!

So then he sent me a text saying, you better get a funeral ready for your brother lol.
And I was like what? He said that my bro wanted to fight him (when the texts showed that he brought up fighting my bro) and I told him he must have missunderstood. But he said nope and I told him that even though my bro can be a pain and a jerk at times that he is still my bro and his best friend and I told him thatvif he fights him I wouldn't talk to him, even though I really liked him.

Guess what he said... "no sweat off my back" like he didn't even care!!
Then he was all mad and said I'm done with all of you (even after we all apologised when we really didn't do anything) (he also thought my bro was making fun of his gun at the previous party) so then we didn't talk for a day or two. Then we talked about the same stuff and I said I don't know how many times you want us to say sorry. Then he said just because you say sorry don't mean I just suddenly forgive you So I told him when he was ready to be mature an sensable about everything to talk to me and that ivwoupd be waiting.

He never responded. It's been a little over a month sense we last talked and sent him a text the other day to wish him a happy birthday even though he missed mine and all he said was thanks. That's it! My bro was sending him texts throughout the month asking to be friends again with fruitless efforts (I found that out recently) bu he this say I'll think about it to one text not o long ago. But never texted my bro back after that.

We took him in like family. Brought him to the mountains for a mini vaca. And he just gives up on us like this?
But there was a speed but you should know about. His mom. She didn't like the idea of us going out. And thought we would do something and I would say rape. Or that I was imature and didn't know what to do in my life and that I wouldn't be OK with him going off to college. Which was all WRONG! She didn't even wan him going to my bros party because she knew I would be there. So some of my friends think his mom probably drilled it into his head that she was right and we should be together.

I dot know what to do... I like him SOOO much but even if we were to get back together, would it be the same? And if he was mad over something little like this what will next time be like? Should I just forget about him? I don't know. I just can't believe the first time I really like a guy and it ended to quick and badly like this.. Any comments or advise would be great.
Thank you.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

My OPINION: This sounds like it could a potentially disastrous painful abusive relationship. Why would you want to get into a relationship with someone that you KNOW has anger management problems? Besides that he sounds very immature. How old are the two of you? I would walk away before you get hurt.

[talaniman]

This guy has problems, and doesn't sound like he is wrapped to tight, and you would only be forcing something on him that he isn't mature enough to handle.

No matter how bad you want him to, he isn't ready to grow up yet, sorry.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Haha, same post is fitting to two people...

[animal_lover]

My OPINION: This sounds like it could a potentially disastrous painful abusive relationship. Why would you want to get into a relationship with someone that you KNOW has anger management problems? Besides that he sounds very immature. How old are the two of you? I would walk away before you get hurt.

No he would never hit a girl. If he gets mad at a girl he just walks away, because of the way his dad treated his mom. He even wears thoes bracelets about abusing women.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

How do you know he would never hit a woman? If he got mad enough? He has anger management issues, which means that he as trouble managing his anger... Look at the signs.

[animal_lover]

This guy has problems, and doesn't sound like he is wrapped to tight, and you would only be forcing something on him that he isn't mature enough to handle.

No matter how bad you want him to, he isn't ready to grow up yet, sorry.

Yeah. You're probably right. Thanks. I just wanted sombody else's opinion to make sure I'm not crazy for still liking him... which I think I am lol.

[animal_lover]

He has seen his mom go though so much he wouldn't hurt any woman. I HIGHLY doubt he would. But it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't want to talk to me and I don't think I should even bother talking to him.

[talaniman]

Thanks. I just wanted somebody else's opinion to make sure I'm not crazy for still liking him... which I think I am lol.

Maybe you can't help who you like, and that's fine. You can help what you do about it, and based on the facts, be cautious, and thoughtful, when dealing with him.

He may not hit you, but can still get you into some sticky situations because of his actions. Keep a safe distance from him and his issues.