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Uber Member
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Aug 21, 2009, 08:40 AM
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Damn Those Women Drivers!
This morning on the freeway I looked over to my left and there was a Woman in a brand new Cadillac - with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane still working on that makeup!
As a man I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver from one hand, which knocked the donut out of my other hand!
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out my car, using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear - which fell into the hot coffee that was between my legs.
It splashed and burned Big Willie and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers and disconnected an important call!
Damn those women drivers!
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Expert
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Aug 21, 2009, 08:45 AM
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Phone isn't ruined. Soak it in some dry rice to get the liquid out... There one problem solved. LOL
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Ultra Member
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Aug 21, 2009, 10:03 AM
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Soon there will be an equivalent of a blue tooth for all those functions that distract us from focusing on the driving . We will all look like Borgs ;but it will fix the problem .
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Uber Member
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Aug 21, 2009, 10:14 AM
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Big Willy and the Twins...
Normally I would say, "Yea Right, This I got to see to believe",
But on second thought, never mind.
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Senior Member
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Aug 21, 2009, 10:51 AM
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 Originally Posted by RickJ
This morning on the freeway I looked over to my left and there was a Woman in a brand new Cadillac - with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane still working on that makeup!
As a man I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver from one hand, which knocked the donut out of my other hand!
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out my car, using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear - which fell into the hot coffee that was between my legs.
It splashed and burned Big Willie and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers and and disconnected an important call!
Damn those women drivers!
You know, you can sue the McDonalds that sold you the coffee for $10 million, and win.
You could also sue the cell phone company for making a phone that would cause such a big splash (I'm taking your word for how big Big Willie actually is), and the donut maker for making donuts that aren't sticky enough to stay in your hand while your car is swerving.
And you should sue the car maker for not making a steering wheel with better knee control.
Not sure what you should sue the shaver manufacturer for... but hey, they were party to the incident.
As for women drivers... yeah, I agree. None of them belong behind the wheel.
 Danica Patrick
 Ashley Force
 Mendy Fry
 Angelle Sampey
 Erin Crocker
 Leilani Munter
Elliot
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Uber Member
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Aug 21, 2009, 09:39 PM
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The way I see it is sue the coffee and if the razor cut you sue them too, but the eyeliner gal NOPE you can't sue her.
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Business Expert
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Aug 22, 2009, 01:05 AM
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 Originally Posted by ETWolverine
You know, you can sue the McDonalds that sold you the coffee for $10 million, and win.
You could also sue the cell phone company for making a phone that would cause such a big splash (I'm taking your word for how big Big Willie actually is), and the donut maker for making donuts that aren't sticky enough to stay in your hand while your car is swerving.
And you should sue the car maker for not making a steering wheel with better knee control.
Not sure what you should sue the shaver manufacturer for... but hey, they were party to the incident.
As for women drivers... yeah, I agree. None of them belong behind the wheel.
 Danica Patrick
 Ashley Force
 Mendy Fry
 Angelle Sampey
 Erin Crocker
 Leilani Munter
Elliot
Ooooh my, number 6 really got my attention, yesssirreee bob.
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2009, 06:55 AM
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 Originally Posted by Stringer
Ooooh my, number 6 really got my attention, yesssirreee bob.
Hey I look like her
IF I dye my hair
Get a little plastic surgery
Nose
Lips
Cheeks
Put some make-up on
And shed about 20 years off my age
Darn I just dropped my eyeliner and
There is this crazy driver I just missed hitting!!
Have to log off QUICK... red lights flashing behind me...
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Business Expert
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Aug 22, 2009, 08:11 AM
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 Originally Posted by N0help4u
Hey I look like her
IF I dye my hair
get a little plastic surgery
nose
lips
cheeks
put some make-up on
and shed about 20 years off my age
Darn I just dropped my eyeliner and
there is this crazy driver I just missed hitting!!!
Have to log off QUICK......red lights flashing behind me..........
"MOVE AWAY from the CAR!" :D
And yeah... I knew that!
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Ultra Member
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Aug 22, 2009, 08:19 AM
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.. at least it wasn't mascara.
Ha
Sarah
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2009, 09:24 AM
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 Originally Posted by J_9
Phone isn't ruined. Soak it in some dry rice to get the liquid out.....There one problem solved. LOL
Oh darn, why couldn't I have met you a year ago when I dropped my phone in the toilet... I just threw it out and bought a new one because I thought it was ruined :(
I think everyone, not just women need to take there car out on the race track... nothing like spinning out around a corner to make you more careful on the road :eek:
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2009, 09:36 AM
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The track?
Just go North 79 from Pittsburgh to Butler
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Business Expert
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Aug 22, 2009, 09:37 AM
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 Originally Posted by N0help4u
The track?
Just go North 79 from Pittsburgh to Butler
Been there... :)
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2009, 09:39 AM
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 Originally Posted by Stringer
Been there.......:)
... and your top speed?
I miss 110 mph on the backstretch of the Island but Ohio Township cracked down on that :mad:
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Business Expert
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Aug 22, 2009, 09:50 AM
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 Originally Posted by N0help4u
...and your top speed?
I miss 110 mph on the backstretch of the Island but Ohio Township cracked down on that :mad:
Although we drag raced a lot near Greensburg /Jeannette I only went to watch them race.
On an old highway near Grrensburg we marked off the quarter mile by painting a line across the road. Every time we raced we had about 30 cars down there... local or state never bothered us there...
And I did all right... '68 Charger 440 Mag, R/T, 4 floor, raised *ss... Gas pedal 7 " off the floor.
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2009, 09:57 AM
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I think I heard about that back in the early 70's
I never got to go... as usual
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Business Expert
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Aug 22, 2009, 09:59 AM
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 Originally Posted by N0help4u
I think I heard about that back in the early 70's
I never got to go.....as usual
You knew about Rt 130?
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2009, 10:05 AM
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I don't know. I know when I was in my 20's friends would talk always talk about drag racing some stretch of road out that direction.
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Business Expert
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Aug 22, 2009, 10:11 AM
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 Originally Posted by N0help4u
I dunno. I know when I was in my 20's friends would talk always talk about drag racing some stretch of road out that direction.
Although this went on for years, never bothered by the cops.
Then one day I was with a friend who had a 'souped up' Dodge, actually street illegal. Well, we got pulled over by a state bear... problem was that my friend tried to out run him, bad decision.
He wrote him 15 tickets, no kidding. He was a young cop, he could have taken him in, after he gave all the tics to him he smiled and said "who's the champ down on 130 this week?" Seems that he draged there a few times when he was younger... go figure... :D
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Uber Member
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Aug 22, 2009, 10:12 AM
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Yeah it figures.
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