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kamiller · Aug 19, 2009, 02:57 PM

He moved out 2 weeks ago because I made him leave. He came back to pick up some things and was so mean to me and has turned this whole thing around like I was the one who did everything wrong and he was happy to leave.? Why would he do that? Why should I care? I feel torn up inside and have not stopped crying for days thinking I made the wrong decision about ending my marriage. This marriage is based on no sex, no trust and him being a very impatient and mean step-dad.

MsMewiththat · Aug 19, 2009, 03:01 PM

When someone is in the wrong and not willing to be accountable for those actions, the last thing they are going to do is admit that they are the cause of the problem and allow you to be right.
He is trying this around on you because it is easier for him to deal with and frankly because it makes you believe exactly what you are feeling right now... like it's your fault. If you had the feelings that this is not working for you and that is what drove you to end your marriage then go with your first mind. If you haven't attempting to work on things and you believe there is something to salvage, consider working on it. For now... give it time. It's going to hurt, but usually difficult decisions do hurt.

jmjoseph · Aug 19, 2009, 03:53 PM

You made your decision based on sound thought. You were fed up with him. No sex and lack of trust are enough, but he was mean and hateful to your biological child, his step-child? That is something that is inexcusable. Just think about your child, how happy he/she is going to be without him being ugly and impatient. The reason for the flip-flop is he is just trying to hurt you. And it worked I see. So just sit down, make a list of all the negative things about him , and then list the positive things in another column. See which list is longer. That should make your decision for you.

Don't let him play with your mind and heart.

However, there should be no second thought when it comes to divorce. I wish you luck

Gemini54 · Aug 20, 2009, 10:04 PM

He's shifting the blame and getting back at you for asking him to leave.

People never like to be made 'wrong' and by asking him to leave you've put him on the defensive. He's come back to pick up his things and has hit you with the heavy artillery. Now you're feeling awful and he's feeling justified. It will take a while to get his words out of your head, but in a way it reinforces his mean spirit which you had already identified.

If there was no trust, no sex and emotional abuse then you are really better off on your own aren't you?