[Alty]

*For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection
For the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
Industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would
All be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
Stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
With the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash... Twice a day.

2. Every time they* *repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy
A new car.*

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
Have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the
Car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
Reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
Car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
Reinstall the engine.*

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
Five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
Percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
Replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
Refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
The key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how
To drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
Same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off* *

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer
Service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language
How to fix your car yourself!!

[HelpinHere]

Yep, but think about the shineness of it all! :D

[KISS]

Nice. A very old joke. I'll add, "If Microsoft made cars, we'd all be walking"

[Stringer]

Good one. You've found a cove of these jokes somewhere alty, haven't you? BUT... wait... it's coming...

They're all pretty good ones. :)

[Alty]

Good one. You've found a cove of these jokes somewhere alty, haven't you? BUT....wait...it's coming.....

They're all pretty good ones. :)

I've been going through all the emails Starby sent me. She always sent jokes, at least to a day and videos. I just thought I'd post a few of my favorites.

I'm sure you've seen most of them already, but repeats aren't always bad. :)

[Stringer]

I've been going through all the emails Starby sent me. She always sent jokes, at least 2 a day and videos. I just thought I'd post a few of my favorites.

I'm sure you've seen most of them already, but repeats aren't always bad. :)

Some yes, this is a nice thing to do hon. Each day I find another reason to call you my friend.

[shazamataz]

Haha very funny, and yet disturbingly true :p