[Sky blue]

I really need some advice!! I am seventeen. We've been dating a bit over a year now. I really do love him, and I don't want to be without him. And I thought he felt the same way. But he has really been pressuring me to have sex with him. In our religion it is wrong to have premarital sex. I can't even really believe that he says all these things to me. He used to be so understanding! I was with him Sunday, we were having a great time, until we started to kiss and it just kept going further. He said we are going to do it anyway, then why not now. But I just said no. Is this my fault? Am I leading him on or what? I am sooo confused! He said he would go to a different girl if a didn't do it. I don't believe that because he has often said stuff that he really regrets later. I still haven't answered his calls. What should I do now?

[Alty]

If he's pressuring you then he doesn't love you, especially if he says he'll go elsewhere if you don't give in.

It's time to talk to him, tell him flat out that it's not going to happen, that you feel strongly about waiting and if he can't accept that, stop pressuring you, then you'll have to break up.

[Sky blue]

But do you think its partly my fault?

[Alty]

But do you think its partly my fault?

No! No! No!

How would it be your fault?

Have you ever given him any hope that you will have sex with him?

Did you say flat out, I'm not ready?

From what I read in your post, he knew your thoughts on sex from the beginning, so no, you're not at fault.

He's the one that changed the rules of the game, not you.

[MissRissa]

You need to talk with him about this. If he doesn't respect where you are coming from and that you want to stick to your beliefs than you really need to leave this guy. Especially if he threatened to leave you for another girl just so that you would have sex with him. That's a huge ginormous RED FLAG. Don't give up your religious beliefs just to please a jerk. And no it is not your fault! I'm actually very impressed that you stuck to your guns, that's how it should be.

[pavr9634]

I think if he really loves you he will wait not to pressure you to have sex!
Im sorry but I should say dumped him

[I wish]

Had to spread rep Altenweg.

If he's pressuring you, it means that he doesn't respect you. If he doesn't respect you, then he doesn't really care about you, regardless of the religion issue.

Don't blame yourself at all. Relationships are about happiness and doing things that make you happy. This is clearly making you uncomfortable, which is very unhealthy.

You really need to explain to him that you are not ready and if he can't wait for you, then he's not really worth keeping around, because who knows what else he doesn't respect about you.

[sweet1028]

True love waits. If he truly loves you, it shouldn't matter if you wait ten more years to have sex with him. In my opinion, if my boyfriend of 4 years did not want to have sex until we were married... then that's what we would do. I love him too much to lose him over sex.
We did have sex though and we have a kid. I'm not in the same situation, but just pointing out that if you really love someone you will respect them and their beliefs.
You need to talk to him about how you feel. If he doesn't change his feelings toward having sex before marriage... dump him and move on. You need a guy who loves you for you. Good Luck!

[Gemini54]

Pressuring someone to have sex is tantamount to bullying.

I had the spread the rep, Altenweg and I Wish, but it's so true.

He knows what the situation is regarding your religion and pre-marital sex. By pressuring you and threatening to leave you he is behaving with a complete lack if integrity and disregard for your feelings and your beliefs.

If you were to have sex with him, how could you trust him to not leave you or to shame you?

You're only 17, so it may be a while until you marry and you may not even marry him. Tell him that you will not be coerced and that you will find someone else that respects you if he continues to harass you. Tell him that you will inform your parents if he does it again.

[N0help4u]

Don't do something you regret later.
He pressures you
You give in
He ends up breaking up with you anyway
You feel more depressed and hurt than you would have if he ended up breaking up with you over your not giving in.

I agree 100% with the others.

[talaniman]

He loves your body, not your mind, and one who keeps disrespecting your wishes, has to go.

Sorry, but he is not leaving you a lot of options.

[Sky blue]

Well I guess u guys are all right. I would just hate to break up though. But I'll talk to him, n see what he thinks about it then. Thanks you guys you are a great help!!

[talaniman]

It's a big red flag when a guy thinks and acts with his "little head".