[xstarcomx]

1st off the Mother didn't take her away from me I left, I was young and dumb.
About 2 to 3 years after Leaving my daughter with her Mother 2 states away, I quit drinking, and Partying, got cleand up and got a job, To only relize then that I had a 3 year old daughter I haven't seen sents her birth whin her Mother kicked me out(for good reason)

Anyway, In the time that we were togather I never knew her last name are any of her famlies addresses. Basically I tried 3 or 4 times to lokate here , but they had moved.

Now 19 years latter my Daughters Mother has contacted me throw myspace asking for my phone and address. I email them back to her and now I'm just waitting to be contacted.

I don't know what to exspect, How could my daughter ever want anything to do with me whin I have been gone here whole life.

[artlady]

You are a stranger.What makes you think you daughter wants to even meet you or know you?

I guess if you want to be in her life you have some explaining to do.

Did you think about her over the years?
If you did than you have to tell her how you felt and how you failed.
Bottom line,you have to explain why you were not there,cop to being a bad dad and ask for forgiveness or friendship and know that she may never be able to call you Dad.
Start from I'm sorry and see what happens from there.

[Jake2008]

This could be the beginning of something really good.

If the mother is contacting you specifically to meet your daughter, and your daughter is willing, you may only have one shot at this.

A friend of mine gave up a baby for adoption when she was 13 years old. Her baby was adopted, and, when the 'baby' was in her mid twenties, she contacted her birth mother.

My friend had eventually married, had two children with her husband. None of them knew about the baby.

After she finally told of this baby to her family, and they were all accepting of meeting her, it was set up with the adoptive parents, to bring her to my friends house.

All the worrying, reading, advice taking, preparations etc. were all in vain.

It happened so naturally. Time just had a way of disappearing for the both of them. What was meant to be, just happened, and it was a total tear jerker for everybody, including her daughter's adoptive parents.

The 'baby' had had a very, very good upbringing in her adoptive family, and was secure and confident. But, all these years had passed, she had no idea how she was going to react until the time actually came.

Your daughter will have a lot of questions, and no doubt she'll hold you accountable for things that went wrong in her life that she thinks wouldn't have, had you been around. The best you can do is not dismiss her thinking, and correct her interpretation of things. She will need to let you know how she feels, and why she feels the way she does.

She needs to have her feelings validated. As much as I hate that term, she needs to know that you are listening, and you understand, even if you don't agree.

I think once you get past the emotional roller coaster ride, and things become calm and manageable, then just take it slow. She needs to learn who you are now, not the person she thought you were then.

Excuses won't mean anything. You have to build a relationship from the moment your eyes meet hers.

I wish you well, and I hope this turns out to be the best experience of your life.

[N0help4u]

Sometimes kids are really curious about their biological parents. Some hate them and never want to lay eyes on them, while others say they can't live in peace until they meet them because they need it for healing and have a lot of questions.

Sounds like you do have one foot in the door since the mother contacted you. As Jake said don't blow it.