[backkyy]

I need advice to see if I should have any part in my parent's decision to live together even though they are divorced.. with my dad's new wife.

Things you need to know: I have 5 older siblings who are over the age of 21. I am the youngest and I live in another state. My oldest brother and middle sister lives with my parents. My other brother lives with my grandpa and my other two sisters are married.

About two years ago, my dad was caught having an affair with a younger woman. My father was close to leaving my mother for the other woman but the other woman did not want to become "the blame." So she left him. After that, my dad promised not to ever do that again to my mother. I did not know any of this until after a couple months. My parents were trying to hide it from me but somehow the news got to me through my uncle. So it turned out that my mother already forgave my father and they were going to try to work things out. And to be honest, nothing seemed wrong.

Then last year, my mother found out that my father was having another affair. They ended up getting a divorce. The sad thing is that the girl that is having an affair with is 18 years old and my father is 50 years old. Which does not make any sense and disgusts me that she is younger than me. My mother refuses to leave even though we've all told her to leave him. I cannot take care of her due to family traditions... sadly. It would be a disgrace to my husband's family and my family. Only my younger brother can but he does not care. I think that my mother is afraid to grow up alone without anyone to support her. But that's my opinion.

What do you guys think? Gimme some real advice!! Any advice will be appreciated.

[twinkiedooter]

Your mother needs some rational guidance. If they are legally divorced, why would she want to stick around and watch her ex husband with his new 18year old wife? You said "traditions" keep you from helping her. What's wrong with mom going out and getting a job and supporting herself? No one gets a free ride in this lifetime on someone else. I don't care if she was a stay at home mom, she now needs to go out and get a job and support herself. Did she receive any award for alimony if she never worked outside the home? If she receives alimony, then she could easily leave the home and get another place to live. Right now, I think mom just wants someone else to keep footing the bills for her. She needs to wake up and find out that dad is not going to keep paying for her to stick around.

[N0help4u]

The disgrace is your father having an affair.
Your mother putting up with it.

Sometimes tradition and keeping tradition for the sake of following tradition is worse than breaking tradition.

You can not do anything about your fathers decisions. I think maybe having a meeting with all family members to figure out what is more important and doing it is what you need to do.
Would you still be so concerned about tradition if he were physically abusing her?
I think you should follow the same decision for emotional abuse as you would follow for if he were breaking her limbs and beating on her.

They are divorced she has no business being involved with him nor he with her.

[talaniman]

Stay out of their business. They are old enough to work out their own problems, and suffer their own consequences. They are adults(?)

[Fr_Chuck]

What do I think, it is your mom and dads business, you can tell your mom your opinion but only your mom can make her own choices

[Gemini54]

They are adults, and how they choose to live their lives is no-one's business but their own. (Even if their decisions may seem absurd to you and the rest of the family.)

If your mother chooses to live with your father and his 18 year old GF - and they are happy for her to be there - so be it!

In any case, I suspect it will all quickly unravel.