[k1kxo19]

Hello, I am a thirteen yr. old girl and I am almost positive I am depressed. I used to eat allot and now I go almost all day without food but still gain weight. I have just had 6 family members die and 1 friend. When I was seven I was sexually molested and now its really starting to bother me. I just recently got taken away from my father due to his alcohol addiction and my mother has a history of depression. I usually can't fall asleep until about 4:30 a.m. and don't want to wake up until three p.m. I cry everyday and feel like my life has no meaning. Though I am 100 percent sure I will NEVER commit suicide I do fear death greatly. I have recently had disturbing dreams and had terrible hallucinations. I have been letting my anger out on loved ones and I can't stop until its too late. I have lately become violent on peers. I can't even listen to music without breaking down and crying. Its getting worse every day. PLEASE HELP ME!!

[artlady]

For such a young lady ,you have had to experience many challenges and quite a lot of loss as well.
I am sorry you are feeling so bad.

The good news is there is help for teen depression but you must get an adult involved so you can get the help you need.

If you can't talk to your parents ,find an adult you trust who can put you in touch with the right people.

These problems you are having can get better,I promise you but you have to be willing to tell an adult.Even if it is a friends Mom or aunt or teacher.Someone who is an adult.

You need professional help to work through some of these problems and maybe even medication to help you.

When you are feeling well what sort of things do you like to do ? Do you write or draw or do you like music?
Tell me a little about yourself.

[artlady]

I am still on line waiting for you to come back and maybe we can figure out a plan that will work for you.
Do you live in the U.S.
Are you starting high school this year?
That is pretty exciting ,if you are.

[artlady]

I hope you decide to come back.I am a Mom and I have been through a lot with many kids over the years and they tell me I'm a pretty good listener so if you do come back,I am usually on late at night as well.Eastern time U.S.A.
If I am not here there is always someone who can help you.We are really a nice bunch of people :)

[k1kxo19]

When I am feeling sad I like to sing and watch michael jackson videos online. I do love his work and he is my inspiration. But watching him makes me very sad.I also LOVE to be with my best friend, she knows me better than any one. I met her when I was only four and we have been close ever since. We are very involved in each others lives and I love her like a sister. I don't like people to hear me sing but I KNOW I can sing. When I was eleven I won first place in a high school talent show. I am going to be entering the eighth grade. I like to believe I am intellegent. I will be in advanced biology, anatomy, chemistry, geometry, language arts, and I am taking high school classes. I have high expectations for myself, I want to be first in my family to graduate from college. I know I will. I take journalism classes at community college and I love writing songs. I play piano, violin, viola, and drums. I am a runner. I can run four miles in 30. min. I don't have much self confidence. I have braces, I am too tall for my age, too thin, I am the ONLY blonde in my class & I am constantly being teased about it.

[mary79]

As a teen I myself faced loss and struggled with depression. I hope you seek help. It sounds corny when people say "get help", but it is very serious. I am now 30 yrs old and my depressive issues have been a part of my life because I never got help. I lost my children because I was an emotional wreck. Had I sought help and gotten treated, maybe I would have handled my situation better. I'm sorry for your pain. I was once 13 and struggling as well. Please find someone you can trust. I know it's hard but it gets better in time. Please get some help and don't carry this with you as you grow. It really makes things worse. Take care and God Bless

[artlady]

Wow! You sure do have a busy life!
I feel sad thinking about Michael Jackson also.Just when he was going on on his final tour.It is a tragedy.We are lucky to have had him as long as we did.
I hope you get over your shyness about singing in front of others.I have a nasty set of pipes but it doesn't stop me :) To win a talent show at 11 must have been awesome.What did you sing?

You have had a best friend since you were 4? That is so cool. That is a friend you will have for life! My best friend I have known for 40 years.Yeah,long time,she is a sweetie.

You sound very mature and I am glad you have the smarts to admit that you are intelligent.
I could see that in your original post.Do you think you put too much pressure on yourself honey because it sounds like your classes are going to be very challenging?

And a journalism class as well! Wow ,I always wanted to be a journalist and I did write for my school paper and some local papers but did not go to college I made the mistake of getting married at 18 stupid huh?

You say you are tall and blond ,maybe there is a modeling career in your future as well.If you could find the time.

With all of your accomplishments ,are you sure you are not putting too much pressure on yourself.

I wrote a lot more but it got deleted too many characters I assume.
Come back and talk some more. You are very smart and accomplished and a joy to chat with.Come back on and we can chat some more.I really want to help you through this tough time because I can see you have so much to offer this world. I am Michele.you keep your name private. Hope to talk soon

[k1kxo19]

Well, what I do when my grades start slipping I get a tutor for that class right away. And when I sang at the talent show I sang a moment like this by kelly clarkson. And I loved being up there on the stage but when I'm not on a stage I get so nervous and shy. But it was the best feeling when I won. I wanted to cry! When I sing, I feel great! But nobody really knows that I can sing just my mom and sister. I'm too nervous to sing in front of my best friend. I've been thinking of joining the talent show for eighth grade and I REALLY REALLY want to sing "when i had you" by the jackson 5 I have practised that song for years but... im afraid they won't like me. Its so hard because my family doesn't have the money to get me a vocal coach so I have to do it on my own.

[artlady]

well, what i do when my grades start slipping i get a tutor for that class right away. and when i sang at the talent show i sang a moment like this by kelly clarkson. And i loved being up there on the stage but when im not on a stage i get so nervous and shy. but it was the best feeling when i won. i wanted to cry! when i sing, i feel great! but nobody really knows that i can sing just my mom and sister. im too nervous to sing in front of my best friend. i've been thinking of joining the talent show for eighth grade and i REALLY REALLY want to sing "when i had you" by the jackson 5 i have practised that song for years but...im afraid they wont like me. its so hard because my family doesnt have the money to get me a vocal coach so i have to do it on my own.

I love that song by Kelly Clarkson. It is a tough one.You must have incredible range.

You mentioned about a vocal coach.Have you ever considered joining a local theater troupe?

There are usually people there who have great talent and I would bet someone could coach you.Its something to consider.If you could find the time. LOL

Honey do you think maybe you DO too much?

That could be one of the reasons for your depression and also you sound like you might be a bit of a perfectionist and that can put way too much stress on someone.

You have every reason to be confident ,you are very accomplished in many things.
Have you talked to your Mom about your depression?

[k1kxo19]

I have spoken to my mother about depression but she is very closed minded and tends to shut me out. She just told me I am too young to be depressed. So I spoke to my sister about it. She is already 24 and she said that my problem COULD be the fact that its summer and in the summer I go to sleep at crazy hours wake up late don't get too much outdoor activities that I usually would at school, maybe I don't eat well and don't exercise like I do at school or socialize with many people. But I'm not too sure about that..

[artlady]

i have spoken to my mother about depression but she is very closed minded and tends to shut me out. she just told me i am too young to be depressed. so i spoke to my sister about it. she is already 24 and she said that my problem COULD be the fact that its summer and in the summer i go to sleep at crazy hours wake up late dont get too much outdoor activities that i usually would at school, maybe i dont eat well and dont exercise like i do at school or socialize with many people. but im not too sure about that..?

I hate to say this but your Mom is mistaken.Depression in teens is a very real and serious issue.I can refer you to websites that can help her to understand that so that you can get the help you need.
Yes,your sister has a very good point.Irregular hours and poor eating and lack of exercise all contribute to depression but there are other reasons as well and I think talking to someone would be a good thing for you.
Would you like me to get those links for you so you can share them with your Mom?

[k1kxo19]

Yes thank that would be VERY helpful. You're a big help.

[artlady]

yes thank that would be VERY helpful. your a big help.

I will do that hon and post them soon :)

[artlady]

Here are a few sites I think your Mom needs to look at.I still would love to talk to you.I also think you would be a great asset giving advice here on the teen board.You are smart beyond your years and would be a real help.Sometimes when we are helping others it takes the focus off our own issues :) We need more smart teens here!
Mental Health America: Depression in Teens

http://my.clevelandclinic.org
/disorders/depression/hic_depression_in_children.aspx

http://griggs.byu.edu:8232/Article.aspx?a=100

[k1kxo19]

Oh thank you so much! :D

[Clough]

Hi, k1kxo19!

You play a number of instruments. So do I. If you would like to do something musical on this site that might help you to feel better about yourself, please let me know on this thread.

Thanks!

[Clough]

Hi again, k1kxo19!

I did make you an offer on this thread about four days ago. I do hope that you'll return to here to let me know what you think and also to let us know how things are going for you now.

Thanks!