[HelpinHere]

Yep, you guessed it, here is a thread dedicated to those infamous, Little Johnny jokes!


I'll start it off with one about PIE for Chey:

Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

:D

[Chey5782]

Apple pie... *le sigh* :p

[HelpinHere]

Would you rather it be Cherry, le Chey? ;)

[Chey5782]

That was a sigh of contentment. All people should love pie. I hate pecan pie though, I think it's yucky. *shudders* All pie butt hat pie!

[HelpinHere]

Little Johnny ran to his mother, "Mommy! Mommy! Is my teacher a robot?"

Mommy said, "Why, no, Johnny. Of course she's not. Why would you ask such a thing?"

Little Johnny caught his breath a little bit and said, "Cuz last night, at the PTA meeting, I heard him tell Billy's dad that he thought he like to screw her head off..."

:eek:

Yep, I'm a joke thief! :D

[HelpinHere]

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army." :D :rolleyes:

And again!

[adam_89]

That last one was great.

I can't provide any jokes because I am at work and they block most sites with that on there.

I hope to see more show up though.

[justcurious55]

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs?."

The teacher answered "Why do you ask that?"

Johnny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs."


Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "" meant.

Thinking fast she replied "food on the table".

Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a " mean.

Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest".

Next day he comes home a asks what does "in'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed".

That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring.

He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a , s on the table and mom and dad are upstairs in'".


Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.

He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge."

A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!"

She replies, "I lost it, honey."

A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?"

Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!"


Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest! " Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying! " His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"



Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".


Little Johnny was going to his faters house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.

He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.

He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy"

A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you... He is everywhere... He's in the chruch... He's on the sidewalk... He's everywhere"

Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"

The prist replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"

Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"

[HelpinHere]

:eek:
Quite the mouth, this one has!

Lol, nice find JCurious, but if we get them all from one source... it's cheating! XD

[justcurious55]

Oops. I felt bad for adam since he's stuck at work and can't get to the sites.

[adam_89]

Thanks A lot Curious. That helped a lot and made my day a little more brightening. Haha