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    tyby231985's Avatar
    tyby231985 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 21, 2009, 11:10 AM
    College relashionship need some feedback
    We have Been together for 9mouths and it has been really good. But she just moved to a new college and its 2000miles away from me. And when she told me about this I told her that its going to be really head and it really never works. But she was all about it so I have been trying and its been 2mouths and I went to see her a mouth ago. And it was really good and she was really sad to see me go. Because she was just going to start her summer classis. So she has been doing her school thing and so am I. but the last weeck she has been doing a lot of school work and partying to get her mind off it. And I don't mind that she partys because I do the same thing. But the I love you and I miss you and just being nice is not going on anymore. The one day she want out all day and night partying and got so drunk that when she got home she didn't even remember when she want to bed. And getting that drunk is not a good thing no matter how you look at it. So the nexts day I called her and she didn't pick up OK she is sleeping no big deal. But I didn't know she was. So I called 2hours later and still nothing. Then again 2hours later so at this time I'm get I little made because its 3pm and still notihng so I'm thinging is she OK like what's going on. Because she aways picks up.even when she goes out. So I called a lot of times and she didn't pick up then like 1hour later she texts me I'm sleeping. She had been sleeping for 14hours. So I don't even know what to think about that one I mean she not the kind of gril that sluts it up. So we talked later on that day and I tried to tell her like what's going on. Why are you not picking up and more why is the I love you not happing with out me saying it. Like what's wrong. And she said that she hates that she we have to have call times but we don't have call times. We talk when we can so she thinks I'm crazy and for calling so much in the past 2days and is thinking about breaking up so I really don't know what to do? And this is nothing when it comes to breaking up I think because I really don't call her all the time
    swro's Avatar
    swro Posts: 8, Reputation: 4
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    #2

    Jul 21, 2009, 01:00 PM
    I feel bad that instead of being open and honest with you that she is just avoiding the problem completely. She should have more respect for you and your feelings. Maybe she was sleeping for 14 hours straight- I've had some rough nights before too... but if that was the real and only problem with the relationship, I don't think that you'd be on here asking for advice- it seems like the bigger issue is why the "I love yous" are only said back if you say them first, and why "just being nice" has stopped too. I don't want to be insensitve to your problem, but (and keep in mind, this is merely an outside opinion from someone who knows neither of you) I think that maybe you are both realizing just how hard long distance relationships can be. It's not that they can't work- but you two were only together for 9 months before she left- I know that some people know instantly that they love each other, and hey- sometimes it actually works; but I think your best bet would be to break up. It seems like she is enjoying her independence while away, and for whatever reason, is trying to make you feel bad for "calling her all the time," when you were just concerned about her. You should go do the same thing- enjoy your independence, and have fun. You said that you were doing your own school thing too- I would just focus on that and focus on you and what you want in life. Eventually, you'll figure out what you need and want to be happy, and maybe you'll find someone who doesn't mind saying "I love you" without being prompted. This is time for you both to grow separately, and who knows, maybe in the future your paths will cross again. Keep in mind that you should take any advice with a grain of salt. Only you really know what to do and how to read the situation, this is just an opinion from thousands of miles away with limited information about you and your relationship. Listen to what your gut instinct is telling you. Good Luck!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #3

    Jul 21, 2009, 02:44 PM

    She is adjusting to college life without you, you need to get your own life and just "do you" and have fun. Stop looking at your phone, go join some groups, make some friends.

    You cannot make someone your life, make them apart of it and allow them to join in if they want, if not, you still have that happiness there without them.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #4

    Jul 21, 2009, 03:54 PM

    If she doesn't know her limits when it comes drinking there is nothing you can do. I just hooes she doesn't anything stupid or be taken advantage of while she is drunk.

    Right now she is having fun and you need to be out doing the same thing--maybe minus the drinking.

    Relationships comes with no guarantees so with that being said this relationship will even work or not. However, her threatening a break-up isn't good and I don't know if it was said out of anger or if she is really considering it.

    Your concern for her has come off as neediness but your concern is valid. Once the relationship start lacking the things it use to have the end is near unless the two of you work together towards a soluation.

    However, she is provening that she wants to serve her wild oaths and is enjoying the partying life at all costs. So you can even accept it or move on--your choice.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jul 21, 2009, 05:32 PM

    You had a great 9 moths and now your both off in different directions. She is doing her thing and not doing what it takes for a relationship to work, and your sitting waiting for words that will not be coming.

    Your right this LDR won't work.

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