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    keemie's Avatar
    keemie Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 18, 2009, 11:31 PM
    Arguments and what happens?
    Every time me and my boyfriend have arguments he says really hurtful things to me what should I do ? And why does he says mean things?
    57373's Avatar
    57373 Posts: 95, Reputation: 8
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    #2

    Jul 19, 2009, 12:07 AM

    This question really has nothing to do with relationships.

    It can apply to anything.

    When people are angry they say things in the heat of the moment,it is kind of like being drunk,everything you say is amplified and somewhat distorted,some of it could be the truth,but stuff you'd normally censor to them.

    I'm not going to say he doesn't mean those things,because he might,but fighting in the first place means you aren't communicating... so how would you know.

    Try talking to him when he isn't angry,about how he feels,and what MAKES him angry.

    If you can't do that,there's no point.
    MissRissa's Avatar
    MissRissa Posts: 68, Reputation: 15
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    #3

    Jul 19, 2009, 08:53 AM

    Does he realize that he is hurting you? If not, then tell him. If he he does realize he is hurting, then that's not a very good boyfriend and I don't think you have a healthy relationship with him. He could say mean things to you for a number of reasons. He could say hurtful things to you for lots of reasons. Maybe he thinks if he puts you down he will win the argument, which is not okay.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Jul 19, 2009, 09:34 AM

    How old are you both, and how long have you been together?

    If that's the way he handles his temper, and it makes you feel bad, why do you stay, and argue with him??
    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #5

    Jul 19, 2009, 11:42 AM

    Why do you take the abuse from him? Doesn't that kind of tell you something about the person you are with?
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #6

    Jul 19, 2009, 12:39 PM

    I also want to know how old you are and how long you've been together.

    Have you told him that the things he says are hurtful?

    Have you guys talked about his behavior?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #7

    Jul 19, 2009, 05:09 PM

    I actually just read a book on this topic. It's the body's natural instinct to be honest, what happens is during an argument you may say something that hurts him(break up, take a break) and our mind immediately flips a switch and wants to hurt the other person so he will say things that he knows will hurt you. He will pick something to attack you on, what you need to decide is if it's worth it to stay or try and find a better way to communicate with each other
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