[tabhishekreddy]

I am 24yrs old in love with a girl of same age for the past 5 years she was not very much attached to her parents when we both met she was really really very fond of me but I was not interested in the beginning I have always treated her as a good friend she once committed suicide because being she was not close to anybody her father scolded her once and she doesn’t study well and I was also not responding properly to her expectations’ stopped talking to her from then on. She wanted to talk to me and wanted to be close to me she made her friends talk to me for that reason. Once we went out on her B"Day we celebrated with my friends she told me everything what she feels for me to my surprise she was almost in love with me i was flattered to her words and for what all she has done for me all these days which i was not even aware. i never wanted to hurt her again coz she was treating me as her best friend soon after few days as we were moving close i started loving her unknowingly. one fine day she proposed me and i accepted her. we decided to marry. I worked real hard and landed into a good job with that salary i could take care of her really really very well. we wanted to convince our parents and then marry i convinced my parents, when she tried to do the same her parents were not interested instead they started talking to her like as if she means the world to them and they have always loved them. they did not like our marriage coz being "Caste" both of them are from the same level of caste I mean both of our caste is forward caste itself but different. and now she says my parents are not getting convinced i don’t want to hurt them. and when asked that what mistake i have done she says "want mistake did my parents do? She says they love me so much they did not know how to express it. And I will not hurt them it doesn’t mean that I want to hurt u".
Today she means the world to me I would do anything for that girl I would rather die for her if necessary. I don’t want to live but I can't commit suicide because I don’t want to hurt my parents.
I know that girl really very closely she has really really loved me I know it very confidently, she wants to compromise for her parents today and marry someone else. She is also suffering but her father is convincing her she is no more in contact with me. But she has recently sent me birthday wishes on my birthday yeaterday ,she ent me a greeting in e-mail.I am feeling really really very bad about this as for no reason except caste I am being parted from this girl whom I love more than anyoneelse in this world please help I don’t want to loose this girl at any cost please suggest me a solution please don’t tell me to leave her to her fate I can't do that as she is also suffering.

I spoke to her father who is a lecturer in a college,I have always respected him as a elderly person as my father,I never wanted him to get hurted because of the decision we have took I did not want to run away with his daughter.I tried to convince him he was almost convinced at one point but later on he just ignored the issue saying that my daughter got convinced and I don't want her to marry u.This girl is afraid that his parents may get depressed so she is not even talking to me,she is not even replying my mails.I am trying all possible ways to convince this girl but she is completely ignoring me.
I don't want to loose this girl,I know that I can go ahead with my life without love but its very difficult to even imagine it without her.

Please help me,
Abhishek.

[talaniman]

As hard as it is we cannot control what other people do. The fact that her parents have so much influence over this girl puts you second . Sorry but I suggest you dust yourself off and move on with your life. There will be some one else who puts you first and you will be happy. She is not ready for the relationship you want.

[s_cianci]

I take it that you're not an American and are from an eastern culture. Unfortunately arranged marriages are still pretty common in those cultures. If her parents had someone else picked out for her, with the consent of his family as well, then that is who she's bound to marry unless she runs away and severs all ties with them. Females in those cultures aren't usually socialized to be independent and do their own thing the way western women are, so that's not likely to happen. That being said, there's little you can do to change the situation. You just have to pick up the pieces and move on with your life. Continue working on your education and career. I know it'll be hard at first but living your life and being able to be happy with or without her is what'll ultimately heal things. Get out and do things that you enjoy ; workout, travel, join a community organization or a dance club, the list goes on and on.