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New Member
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Jul 14, 2009, 12:07 PM
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My three year old son is being adopted
Hello my name is Sleema and I have five children two girls age 13,9 and three boys age 11,10.3 they been with dyfs for three year I been seening them on the weekends and every other Wednesday.Dyfs is giving me back 4 of my children but noot my babie they said he bonded with they foster mother but I progress so much in three years I got a good job and a apartment big enough for all of my children.I just want to know how can I stop my son from being adopted on Tuesday July 21,2009. I do have proof of employment and a lease for my apartment and pictures of the furiture and they sleeping arangments .please can someone help me with my issue thank you
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New Member
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Jul 14, 2009, 12:22 PM
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Okay they can't really take your child away from you unless you have done something for them to take them away. If you have a good job and place to live for them. If I were you I would go to them and tell them that you are there mother and that you should have your child. They can't take your child away without your consent. This is a really tough situation. I would go and tell them if they have a rightful cause to take him away then you really can't do much. Unless get a public lawyer. I would go on the web on Google and to the website usually if it is dfs department of family services they have a website and a contact information. I would tell them your situation. Hopefullly this works.
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Expert
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Jul 14, 2009, 12:23 PM
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You get a VERY good lawyer.
TODAY.
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New Member
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Jul 14, 2009, 12:26 PM
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Saleema, I am also new to this website, but I have heard good things. So here is my imput have you spoken with a Legal Aide Lawyer; get references from neighbors, your job (your boss), your co-workers, and if you can see if someone will come with you on your court date to vouch on yourbehalf. Oh! Seelma because you have succeeded in becoming a more responsible person (parent) you should bring your children with you (to speak on your behalf). Its for a genuine cause and it will help you in the long run. Make sure everyone is well behaved and listens very carefully. One more thing be sure to have all letters notirized and bring B/C, and Social's . Is father on B/C. and who is the foster women, and what is
Her background? What do you or the children know about her? Ask these questions, thoroughly...
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Uber Member
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Jul 14, 2009, 12:54 PM
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 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
Okay they can't really take your child away from you unless you have done something for them to take them away. If you have a good job and place to live for them. If i were you i would go to them and tell them that you are there mother and that you should have your child. They can't take your child away without your consent.
Yes THEY CAN and do take kids away and adopt them out all the time without parents consent. They do what they want. I have seen it and it was done to me. I said I refused to sign the termination papers and they basically said ''So what'' and my son was adopted.
They told me to do this, that and the other thing. Every time I went back to court they said that I did not. Then I proved that I did and they then would basically say oh well they were going to do what they were going to do anyway. They in so many words told me all the time they were above the law and they didn't have to follow the rules.
I learned how to translate their words and
When they say the baby has bonded with the foster parents that means they have no intention on giving you back your kid.
If you get a public defender quite often they sit there passively and do not stick up for you unless you happen to get a really good one that will fight for you.
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New Member
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Jul 14, 2009, 01:14 PM
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Wait a second and think this through.
Five children. There is a tremendous amount of work that you need to put into each child to ensure that they will grow up in a safe environment, and they will grow up in a healthy fashion.
Before you try to get this child back, wait for a moment and think if your action will harm the child or not. All mothers want their children back, but will you do it to satisfy your own selfish desire? That may sound harsh, but understand that that child may grow up in the kind of environment that he needs, and you plan on ripping that kid away.
In the mean time, you have four other children that need to be taken care of.
The best advice is that you let this go, the child has already bonded with his new parents. It might even be traumatizing for him to leave. Take care of your other children and be careful. Don't get pregnant again.
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Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
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Jul 14, 2009, 01:15 PM
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Unfortunately I agree with NoHelp4U here. Family services agencies have the power to remove children from a home they see as unfit. They have the power to determine whether and under what conditions the children might be returned. If they feel it is not in the best interests of the child to be returned (and a 3 yr old who has been away from the mother for most of the child's life can very easily have bonded with another family) it is highly likely that the courts will go along with it.
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New Member
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Jul 15, 2009, 07:03 AM
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 Originally Posted by sleema12
hello my name is Sleema and i have five children two girls age 13,9 and three boys age 11,10.3 they been with dyfs for three year i been seening them on the weekends and every other wensday.Dyfs is giveing me back 4 of my children but noot my babie they said he bonded with they foster mother but i progress so much in three years i got a good job and a apartment big enough for all of my children.i just want to know how can i stop my son from being adopted on tuesday july 21,2009. i do have proof of employment and a lease for my apartment and pictures of the furiture and they sleeping arangments .please can someone help me with my issue thank you
I have never been in this situation and first of all why would in gods name would you want to have all those children if you have them taking away the first time that should be a good inticator that you shouldn't have them If you are doing this by yourself dude I think you should reconsider. Maybe its for the best anyway there are people who can not have children like me that would love a child. Every think that. Maybe that child will have a better type of situation and not compete with 5 other children. I would reconsider what your motives are before being a jerk on here. Think first why did they take them away. Think about how there lives will be how they might have a better future think what's best for them. Not yourself.
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New Member
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Jul 15, 2009, 09:16 AM
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I have to agree with danielnoahsmommy:
Are we all thinking this thing through correctly?
Did everyone read the question posted? It sounded like a cry for help, not critisim. If you
Want to voice your opinon its okay, its just that she doesn't have the time, and its getting closer to her deadline. Sweetie, as a mother I will say this I would not! & Could not let my baby go for anything in this WORLD! If you have done something wrong, you can be forgiven! We all deserve at least one time, and I still say get yourself a lawyer, ask a million questions, and if he/she is not going to do there job properly 86'em. Cut them loose before they get started. The judge is going to hear yourside whether they like it or not.. Stay calm, stay focus, and most of all stay true to your children, yourself, and to GOD! In any case I wish you the best of LUCK, and I know you will prevail because you have the other four already!! Go and get your baby SELEEMA... A baby knows its mother, from day 1 and that no one can take from you!!
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Expert
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Jul 15, 2009, 09:21 AM
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 Originally Posted by Brnx Mama
I have to agree with danielnoahsmommy:
Are we all thinking this thing through correctly?
Did everyone read the question posted? It sounded like a cry for help, not critisim. If you
want to voice your opinon its okay, its just that she doesn't have the time, and its getting closer to her deadline. Sweetie, as a mother I will say this I would not! & Could not let my baby go for anything in this WORLD!! If you have done something wrong, you can be forgiven! We all deserve at least one time, and I still say get yourself a lawyer, ask a million questions, and if he/she is not going to do there job properly 86'em. Cut them loose before they get started. The judge is going to hear yourside whether they like it or not..., Stay calm, stay focus, and most of all stay true to your children, yourself, and to GOD! In any case I wish you the best of LUCK, and I know you will prevail because you have the other four already!!!!! Go and get your baby SELEEMA..... A baby knows its mother, from day 1 and that no one can take from you!!!!!
Actually, I have to disagree with the last part.
If it is determined by a judge that it is in the CHILD'S best interest for a child to be taken from his/her biological parents, then someone most certainly CAN take the child away.
I want to hear the WHOLE story here. I want to know why she lost the kids to begin with, why it's taken THREE YEARS to try to get them back, and what the process of rehabilitation has been.
Without a GOOD lawyer, her chances are actually very slim on getting the youngest child back.
We need more information to give an accurate answer, though... and the OP isn't providing those details.
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Uber Member
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Jul 15, 2009, 03:04 PM
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 Originally Posted by Brnx Mama
In any case I wish you the best of LUCK, and I know you will prevail because you have the other four already!!!!! Go and get your baby SELEEMA..... A baby knows its mother, from day 1 and that no one can take from you!!!!!
I must disagree - this is emotional advice, not legally or factually correct.
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Uber Member
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Jul 15, 2009, 03:41 PM
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 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
I have never been in this situation .
I disagree with people saying that somebody that hasn't experienced something can not answer a problem, BUT when the person comes off sounding like they haven't a clue then NO they shouldn't reply.
 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
and first of all why would in gods name would you want to have all those children if you have them takin away the first time .
HELLO she had her kids taken off her AFTER she had all of them (or at least was already pregnant with the three yr old.)
 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
that should be a good inticator that you shouldn't have them .
Like I said she already had them and often $h!T happens whether you think it out or not
 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
If you are doing this by yourself dude i think you should reconsider.
I raised 4 on my own with no help and practically nothing until they were preteen and 2 were taken away because of lies and I can not agree with your statement at all.
 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
Maybe its for the best anyway there are people who can not have children like me that would love a child. Every think that.
So why not go adopt rather than taking it out on the OP??
 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
Maybe that child will have a better type of situation and not compete with 5 other children.
Why does it have to be about competition rather than bonding and love with your biological family?
 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
I would reconsider what your motives are before being a jerk on here.
Jerk?? For having motherly love that wants her kids all back?
 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
Think first why did they take them away.
Why did they take them away is past history. Why she feels she should get them back is her issue now.
 Originally Posted by famouskiss08
Think about how there lives will be how they might have a better future think whats best for them. Not yourself.
Better how? A richer family? A better neighborhood?
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Expert
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Jul 15, 2009, 03:52 PM
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Actually, why she had them taken away may be VERY pertinent.
For instance--if the reason she lost all of her kids was because when the youngest was born, it was born addicted to crack.
Also--"better" might mean "not ripped away from the only parents the child has ever known and given back to the biological mother, regardless of circumstances, because they're BIOLOGICALLY related".
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Uber Member
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Jul 15, 2009, 03:55 PM
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Very true it probably is very pertinent and may be why she can't get them back but I was answering WHY the OP feels the way she does from a motherly perspective.
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New Member
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Jul 16, 2009, 11:07 AM
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 Originally Posted by zippit
there are plenty of adopted out children who connect with theyre biological parent after they become adults
especially in this day and age where you can find someone fairly easy if you want to
whats done is done in her case
she needs to tend to the others and prepare for a time to connect with this one in the future
I agree with both of the above statements, she should focus on what's at hand right now. It is what's important. My statement earlier referring to no matter what she did was emotional, because I do believe in change. Although some may change for the worst, I was clearly speaking of this situation which it seems as though it was for the best and I still wish her luck and Never say Never. I hope when she gets a chance the OP gives us an update.
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New Member
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Jul 22, 2009, 08:56 AM
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I don't really know the law in your part of this earth. Is it not possible for Selina to give away the 3 year old and still have visitation rights? I wish both parties did not have to be selfish. It is difficult for any mother to totally give away a child. The bond at birth can not be explained. Can the foster parents not agree to let Selina see the child maybe once or twice a year. That way the child is not deprived of either the good life or some sort of a relationship with his biological mother. But all the same God will prevail. Please let me know what happens.
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Uber Member
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Jul 22, 2009, 09:01 AM
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If they do an open adoption thing but in the end it is not the OP's decision she can request that but all in all the Judge can simply say no.
Since it is a baby we are talking about the Judge is more likely to say no. If they were older then the Judge may want to uphold the bond they have with their siblings.
If she was giving them up for adoption on her own accord she could stipulate that she is only giving them up with open adoption.
Since they were taken away from her she doesn't have the option.
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Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
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Jul 22, 2009, 01:29 PM
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 Originally Posted by Hiswill
I dont really know the law in your part of this earth.
You ignore the main facts of the OP's post. Her children were taken AWAY from her due to problems she was having. She has no choices in the matter except to fight the decision of the DYFS in a court.
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