[seranza]

Hi
I am engaged to this guy for 7 months.During these months we had a good relationship & no problem.we planned to get married in a few months. About two days ago suddenly his mom called my mom & said that his son said we don't understand each other and its better to break before we get married. I was really shocked . I called him , he said maybe we don't understand each other & these staff. He asked whether I will marry him without a wedding party or not. He knew that a good wedding party was really important to me & he asked this question before but I didn't answer directly since I thought we love each other & the party is not sth to quarrel for it. I told him its silly to cancle everything just for a party , he said I didn't say to call the wedding off , I just want to know u , I love u , but I have no at the time & I want to know your decision.I told him that he could have talked to me without the parants being involved, that I'm confused & I can't trust him, that its so childish to say I love u & just judge me by a single decision. But he insisted on his question & at last I told him that I will do anything for the person I love, then he said all was his plan, he said he just wanted to know if I can ignore sth I like just for having him.he even didn't tell his mom the truth. He just played as an actor , he said I asked this question before , u didn't take it seriously so I had to do sth to make you speak your ideas. My parents are really angry at him. He appologized & said maybe his idea wasn't so good,he said as his father died when he was a child he their family tolerated many problems & he wanted to make sure that I can bear difficulties if they occur in life... I don't know what to do, should I believe him? During these months he was so honest & caring , but it was the worst thing he could do. My family say there is no guarantee he won't do this again, that he played with me , that if he was really playing , he had a childish idea & if he meant what he said he is not trustworthy. It should be mentioned that we are both 27... thanks a lot for your advice in advance

[N0help4u]

He is using manipulation to see how you react.
You need to hold off on marrying him and get to know him better. It sounds like he may be either a mamma's boy and/or he will jerk your strings to get what he wants when things aren't going HIS way.
Tell him that you are glad that he did this because it was an eye opener for you and now you realize that maybe you are rushing into things and should wait to get married.

[Gemini54]

He sounds like a jerk that isn't capable of communicating normally and plays games with people.

Be very wary of marrying someone like this. Tell him you want to wait and protect yourself from any further games he might like to play.

Listen to your family. If he's like this before you marry, what's he going to be like afterwards?

Remember, people's actions speak louder than their words. Are these the actions of someone you can trust and be married to?

[I wish]

There is a huge communication breakdown in your relationship. Before even worrying about wedding plans, a bigger problem is that you two have a very poor communication system. I don't even know how you got engaged in the first place when you two don't talk directly with each other.

Try to talk things out with him, but from the looks of things, it seems like your relationship is going to end sooner or later. If you don't see any progress in your attempts to repair the relationship, then it's better to make a clean break before either of you make any strong commitments to one another (i.e. marriage).