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shantirhea · Jul 12, 2009, 12:23 AM

My 17 year old daughter just graduated high school and is enrolled for college in Santa Barbara from San Diego. She has always been close to me but has recently become rebellious. She has started partying; smoking pot, beer pong, doesn't check in and is hanging with an older crowd that smoke pot A LOT.She has become belligerent, sarcastic, angry, uses profanity and slang, doesn't help around the house and only takes, takes, takes. She seems to feel that anything goes because she is moving and will finally "be free". I am a single mom and have raised her alone since she was 2. I barely recognize the girl, and Ill be damned if I'm going to pay for her to move to party city central and watch her go down the tubes. Am I delusional to think I can influence her decisions at this point? She will be 18 in October. I have threatened to pull the plug on college until she cleans up her act. She hates me even more. What do I do? Is there anyone out there that has gone through something similar?
Signed,
Is this what I worked my off for?

N0help4u · Jul 12, 2009, 03:33 AM

So have you told her that you do not HAVE to pay for her to move off to college?
Tell her that her behavior is making you leery of sending her off to college when it looks like she will be doing more partying than studying and she needs to prove that she can be responsible before you go spending money on her to get an education.

jenniepepsi · Jul 13, 2009, 11:47 AM

I possibly suspect (im not SURE, but I suspect) that she may be doing more than just pot. It sounds like her whole personality has been upheaved, and when I was a pot smoker in high school, I don't remember that happening to any of us. Being a littles stupid yes, acting out yes, but not this huge of a scale.

It sounds like you really love your daughter, and are afraid for her, but I'm sorry to say, there may not be much you can do other than tell her that it is NOT acceptable in your house, and that if she continues this, you will not be paying for her to go to college.

Once she turns 18, there won't be much you can do. So do your best now. As it seems you KNOW she is into pot and alcohol, get her checked into a rehab center. Being under 18 you have that right to send her to one. But do it NOW, as you won't be able to once she is 18.